Did you spend your morning commute on Instagram zooming all over people’s feeds? Introducing the apps newest feature, the zoom. Apparently it’s taken the app five whole years deliver the update we’ve ‘all been waiting for,’ and now everyone is pretty excited about the fact you can pinch your screen and get zoom happy all over Instagram. Instagram released the following video on Instagram.
Now I’m going to stop you right there and say something a little controversial – Instagram zoom is not the one.
1. Stalking has been made easier
What part of easy stalking is a good thing? I don’t want people zooming all up on my face in pictures. There is literally no way to hide – and I’m not saying we should all be hiding on our social media but surely it’s OK to want to have a little bit of privacy (aka, not have everyone zooming all over our faces) is it not?
2. The double tap
We’re forgetting one fundamental thing here – what happens if you’re out and you’ve had three too many proseccos and oh hey what’s that – your new boyfriend’s ex girlfriend pops up on your discover page on Insta. Naturally you go in to check out how great she looks in that Self Portrait dress everyone wore to weddings all summer, then you try and zoom because you’re sure she’s got those HD brows you’ve been banging on about. Oh fuuuuck you double clicked instead. Now you’ve liked the picture. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.
3. As stated above, stalking has been made easier
We do not need anymore excuse to stalk. At all. I spend enough time on people’s feeds looking through their photos and crying that I don’t look like x, y and z. Yes it’s great that I can now stalk them even more closely, but do I need the temptation? No. No my friends we do not.
4. The zoom doesn’t stay once you’ve zoomed
OK if you think the zoom feature is a winner and you’re into it, fine. But tell me it’s not annoying that as soon as you zoom rather than the image staying put, it pops back out again to full view.
5. Does this mean zoom on Instagram Stories is next?
God help if live zoom becomes a thing. Picture this: you’re happily chatting away in an Instagram Story then you get a text from your friend to tell you the whole time you’ve been filming you had a tiny piece of spinach stuck in your teeth. How do they know this? They zoomed.
Disclaimer: Instagram, I love you. You’ve been my favourite social media app for what feels like a lifetime. But sorry pal, the zoom is just not for me.
Like this? You might also be interested in…
Wondering What On Earth Instagram Stories Is? Here’s How To Use It
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**Follow Alyss on Instagram @alyssbowen **
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.