Halloween. It’s the time of year when grown men and women everywhere straddle the line between creativeness and crassness. But, srsly, why do all the outfits on offer to women need to be prepositioned with the word ‘sexy’? A man can dress up as, say, Scooby Doo but a lady will have the disturbing option of ‘Sexy’ Scooby Doo. Some things (ie dogs) are just not sexy nor are they supposed to be.
Here are other crimes against eyes (and childhoods) everywhere – AKA, the worst offending Halloween outfits legitimately on sale right now. And if they leave you in despair, don’t be: Take Back Halloween is the new site that’s designed to offer up costume inspiration for ‘women with imagination’.
OK, you may never have heard of Empress Theodora but she outlawed wife-killing, banned sex trafficking and sex slavery, expanded women’s property rights, gave mothers the right to raise their own children, and generally endowed women with higher legal status than they’d ever had in the entire history of the Roman Empire.
Sounds pretty awesome to us.
Halloween Costumes
1 of 10Sexy" Lady Marie
Sofia Coppola would not approve of this Marie Antonette-esque wear. Neither would anyone from the 20th century. Neither do we
2 of 10Mystical Mummy
Note to self: this is not the good kind of bandage dress.
3 of 10Gangster Moll
Because you couldn’t possibly be a black-tux wearing female gangster.
4 of 10Sexy" Beat Cop
FYI, this classifies as aiding and abetting a crime against the law.
5 of 10Mail Order Bride
Yep, because this is something to joke about.
6 of 10Sexy" Snow White
There should be a rule against destroying Disney princess dresses.
7 of 10Sexy" Skeleton
Why be a sexy skeleton when you could be a real skeleton (AKA one that is physiologically accurate.)
8 of 10Magazine Cover Pet of The Year
If it's a special pet of the year issue then a cute, adorable kitten should be on the cover, dammit.
9 of 10Censored
Who are you, Instagram? Free the nipple, we say. And probably just don’t go out naked in the first place.
10 of 10Sexy" Nun
If you’re going to go as a nun, channel Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act, K?
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
How To Do Those Classic Fancy Dress Themes If You Don’t Want To Take The Sexy Mouse Route
Here Are Some Absolutely Terrifying True Stories To Get You In The Mood For Halloween
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.