Why Going Home This Bank Holiday Weekend Was The Best Decision You’ve Ever Made

To the train station!


by Jess Commons |
Published on

Off to spend Bank Holiday weekend at home? US TOO and fuck me, we can’t wait. Come 6PM we’re hopping on that overstuffed sweatbox of a train and heading back to the land from which we were born.

Here’s why we're wetting our pants in excitement over the prospect.

Train station food!

The choices! Sainsbury, M&S – maybe even an Upper Crust if you’re feeling spectacularly fancy. Always topped off with gin in a tin. Obvs. Plus, since you’re on your way home about to spend NO MONEY for a few days, you can quite easily justify a tenner on magazines too.

Your parents are genuinely excited to see you

Which makes a nice change. Your housemates barely bother to glance up when you struggle through the door at the end of the day. Ever since you and your sister flew the family nest though, it's all celebrations and dinners out on the town. Plus, your parents actually want to hear about all the minute nonsense that you've been suffering through. Thanks you guys!

Mum’s Fridge


Your childhood pet

Limping, possibly half blind and stinking of something similar to that time you left a sandwich under your bed for the better part of the winter term at university, Molly is not in good shape. Nevertheless she was your first love and she’s going to sleep on your bed no matter how flea-ridden your duvet gets.

A washing machine that works

You've got a washing machine. Obviously. But for some reason Mum's actually cleans your clothes and gets all the make-up stains off your sheets. It's probably magic. Plus, she's got a tumble dryer which means you don't have to hang up your gear to dry outside your flatmate's smoky bedroom thus stopping you from smelling like your local pub before the smoking ban.

Finding your old yearbooks

Apparently you and your friends were *really *into Mr. Gordon from the history department judging by the unspeakable things your very underage pals scribbled on the back page of your yearbook. Plus, what was with the tiger stripe highlights you're all sporting in every picture? Who started that trend? Come on. Own up. A curse on your house from every early noughties teenager.

Finding old clothes

You KNEW there was a reason you never throw anything out. No matter how much nagging your mum did. Now the 90’s are back, and if you breathe in real hard you can just about fit that strappy Tammy girl dress over your shoulders. Bit short mind but you'll just wear it with that pair of cycling shorts you've come across too.

A new level of cleanliness

No matter how hard you scrub your bathroom it’s still got nothing on your mum’s. Whether it’s through years of overuse or that six months you sort of forgot to do it, there’s a thin layer of grime preventing anyone from ever walking in and saying that ‘Oh, it looks nice in here’ thing that makes all cleaning worthwhile.


Abandoned at home after that awkward moment in halls when that dark and brooding second-year boy made fun of his missing eye and tattered paw. Dick. Any fool knows that a night spent in bed with Ted is better than any boy.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

How To Steal Your Mum's Clothes Like A Champ

All The Fights You've Had With Your Stupid Brother

There Are Loads Of Different Types Of Daughter - Which One Are You At The Moment?

Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons

Picture: Rory DCS

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us