Oh hey guys don't mind me over here on my lolidays in NYC. Time zones, oceans and continents will never stop me rambling on about social media so don't you fret.
It's a well known fact that being on holiday (aka 'vacation' as the locals would drawl) grants you the right to post unlimited smug Instagrams because for once you're doing something more interesting than going to work and playing with your cat. Just me? Never mind. While I'm living the dream and tourist-ing all over the place I've been thinking a bit about online shenanigans and how they differ when you're on your jollies...
Weather obsession
The cardinal rule of being away from your home town is that you'll always enjoy it more when you've left terrible weather in your wake. Not going to lie - the torrential rain in London this week has only made me gleeful. Put down your voodoo dolls you know I speak the truth. Whether you've jetted off to somewhere glitteringly snow covered, found yourself a hot rock on which to bask or are soaking in some rural greenery, the best way to improve your holiday landscape is to whack a Juno filter on it and rub it in your friends faces.
I don't feel bad about this. I've talked before about how my Instagram is far from perfectly preened and is a pretty accurate reflection of my life. A great part about this is being able to scroll back through your own feed sometimes and use it to remember the moments you deemed insta-worthy. When your mate is away and you're stuck at your desk you're gonna be the bitterest babe in the land but also glad they're having fun - so when it's your turn you should bloody well enjoy it - I know I am.
Outfit selection
Now I don't know about everyone else but I am TERRIBLE at packing. Much to the chagrin of my friends, especially if I'm taking the trip with them, I'm always the person who packs my case a half hour before I have to leave the house. And by pack I mean grab the nearest clean items and hope for the best. This aside, for the more sartorially minded people in the world, holiday time and the previously mentioned photo-fest is prime time for some serious wardrobe forethought. From around mid March the shops are filled with 'holiday' garbs and it's time for bikini panic. FYI do not expect to see pictures of me in a swimsuit unless there are some very careful angles involved. Or maybe some sort of cloak...
Last week I talked a bit about clothing in my fairly ranty body image discussion so you might be wondering how this translates into a holiday wardrobe. Short answer: grey. I got dressed Friday morning and my friend Nora looked me up and down and said 'You're looking very... co-ordinated.' Co-ordinated in this case meaning head to toe in swathes of elephantine fabric. The light, fresh, whimsical cousin of my uniform black, no? Makes perfect sense to me.
Hunt the WiFi
A classically irritating part of many trips is going to be the constant quest for a wifi hotspot. How on earth are you supposed to make everyone green as the palm trees if you have no way of posting your pictures online? Typically this leaves you with one option: find a restaurant with Internet for dinner and ignore everyone as you tweet about the TV star you saw getting coffee or FaceTime your hamster. My life underwent a serious transformation last month when I switched my phone contract. Being a right jammy little cow, I had two trips abroad in as many weeks (holiday plus sneaky well-timed hen weekend) and I decided this was good enough reason to take advantage of a contract you can USE IN OTHER COUNTRIES FOR FREE. Honestly, I think this is the best part of this global village vibe we've got going on in the world right now. The future is here.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.