The Drunken Texts You’ve Definitely Sent Your Ex

Oh you were sober? Last night’s text says the opposite


by Jess Commons |
Published on

Ever gone back over your sent items from the previous hangover and wish you hadn’t? Hello, texts to your ex! Here’s a few drunk texts you’ve definitely sent him.

The Angry One

If you’re not what we like to call a ‘confrontational person’, then chances are you bottle quite a lot of stuff up. Like, you know, the fact that your ex-boyfriend sometimes forgot to take his stuff out of the washing machine – something you never addressed while you were together. Luckily there’s nothing like alcohol to make you blow a tiny situation out of proportion resulting in what you realise the next day was a 500 word text essay on why you hate him to the core of his very being and you’re glad you broke up. Nice work.

The ‘Casual’ One

In principle your ‘Heyyyyyy, how’s it going…. Just thought I’d say hi ’ text isn’t all that damning. What did give you away as a drunken mess, though, was the fact that you sent it at 4AM and followed it up with 32 more increasingly desperate messages. You couldn’t bring yourself to read them all the next day, but you definitely finished your text marathon off with one saying, ‘I’m pregnant.’ Excellent work.

The Misguided One

There’s something about drinking a glass (or seven) that makes everyone suddenly seem much more appealing than normal – even that guy you went out with a couple of drinks for last year and then dumped when you found out he was also shagging your best friend. This probably goes some way to explaining why you thought it was a good idea to text him saying, ‘Why don’t we hang outttt annny moooooooore?’ You KNOW why.

The ‘I’m Actually Totally Sober’ One

What you meant to type, ‘Hey hope you’re well. So weird to run into you today! Hope you’re well,’ to prove how FINE you really were aboutan earlier chance meeting. What you actually typed: ‘ehjtiosrtjaoigiosrhgnioadrhgertn. Fidfjlk. Hate you. SHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTSSSSS. Shotttt? Loloooool.’

The Update On How Well You’re Doing One

It’s 1AM, you’re feeling pretty hot in your fancy new dress and you’ve got just enough booze in you to feel confident without being annoying. What a GREAT time to brag about how well you're doing to your ex. ‘Hey I’ve got five, count ’em, FIVE best friends, two guys chatting to me on Tinder at this very moment AND I’ve just had a great idea for a company where me and Sarah sell feminist Christmas trees. Top THAT.’ Obviously.

MTV EX On The Beach 2, starts Tuesday 27th Jan 10pm on MTV what will surface this series?

Follow Ex On The Beach on Facebook here and Twitter here.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Facebook Will Soon Be Able To Shame Your Drunken Alter Ego Into Behaving

How To Get Dressed To Hide That Killer Hangover

Inevitable Signs You Had A Mega Night Out** **

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us