Look, we’ve all been there (apart from the handful of smug, clear-eyed teetotallers). One quiet drink turns into bodyshots off the bar (no? Just us?), and it’s all mega-lols, live-for-the-moment, work-schmerk until your alarm starts bleep bleep bleeping at FML-o’clock the next morning, and you wish that you’d just gone to your spin class and had an early night like you’d planned.
The problem is modern life is stressful and hectic, and sometimes it’s just not possible to keep all the playing to the weekends. From dates to birthdays, gossip-filled catch-ups with friends to work/ boy/ family drama crisis councils, the reasons for ending up tipsy-to-trashed on a school night are many and varied.
So on the basis that you will, at some point, 100 per cent have to drag your hungover arse into work, what’s the best way to style it out? You know, so you don’t end up getting fired/making your boss hate you for eternity/ totally F-ing up your entire career.
1. Do keep your head down
A Project Manager for a Management Consultancy firm in the city (who wished to remain anonymous) offered us this practical advice – from personal experience: ‘First of all, don’t bandy it about the office that you have a hangover. That’s probably the absolute worst thing you can do. And don’t be stupid enough to put anything about your great night/hangover on your Facebook either. Social media gets a lot of people sacked.’
Amber Wood, founder of East London-based PR firm Emslie Creative agrees: ‘If my employee turned up to work and spent 90% of the working day in the toilets, that would really annoy me. If they just came in and get on with it, though, I wouldn’t really mind.’
**2. Do plan ahead
**Sacha Romanovitch, Partner on the National Leadership Board at Grant Thornton advised: 'My expectation is that people take responsibility for ensuring that they bring their best to work. If you know that there’s an occasion where you might overindulge so you’re not fit to work that’s a personal choice – you may want to book some extra holiday to recover. It’s not sick leave.'
We all know that holiday days are valuable, though, so if you can’t afford to use one but really can’t miss those post-work drinks, our anonymous city Project Manager had this advice: ‘Make sure you’re on top of your workload, so you can buy yourself that little bit of breathing space the next day. If you’re delivering what you need to be delivering, your boss isn’t really gonna notice.’
Dr Emma B. Williams, Nutrition Scientist & Editor of Nutrition Bulletin at the British Nutrition Foundation explained that when it comes to hangovers, prevention is better than cure. 'Some researchers believe that some hangover symptoms are linked to the lack of sleep that typically follows a night of drinking, as well as how tired you were before you started drinking. So if you're planning a night out, have a good night’s sleep before. And many of the symptoms of drinking too much alcohol, such as headaches and nausea, are caused by dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. So to reduce the risk of getting a hangover, drink plenty of fluids before you start drinking alcohol.'
**3. Don't make it a regular thing
**‘As a new boss I like to think of myself as being reasonably liberal and understanding,' Amber Wood told us. 'Also, I work in a creative industry, so mid-week outings to gigs, parties and events are encouraged. From personal experience I know how things can escalate, so I would forgive someone as long as it only happened once in a blue moon.'
But our City PM was keen to point out it’s not just your boss who might lose patience if you turn up hungover on a regular basis: ‘Colleagues tend to stick together and cover for each other, but if it’s happening all the time it wears thin. You don’t want to be the person everyone starts to turn on. I’ve seen it happen before, and that’s when grievances start getting raised.’
**4. Do think about your future
**Sacha Romanovitch makes it clear that as far as she's concerned workplace hangovers are a big no-no. ‘If you’re after a career where you want to be respected and taken seriously I would never recommend coming into work hungover – it’s just unprofessional.’
And our city PM had these words of wisdom: 'If you're going out drinking with your boss, just remember your boss is always gonna be your boss. So just watch your behaviour a little bit. They’re not your friend.'
**5. Don't pull a sickie
**When you've only had three hours sleep and you've woken up with a thumping headache, we know pulling a sickie is really tempting. But don't. 'The highest days for sickness are Mondays and Fridays and bosses know that,' says our city PM. 'So even if you’re at death's door on a Friday, turn up for work.'
Sacha Romanovitch echoed this and believes honesty is the best policy. 'For anyone who does get themselves into a state I’d rather they called up, apologised for inconveniencing clients and colleagues and took their own time to recover.'
But because we know this isn't exactly what you wanted to hear – what? you're not allowed to stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself? – we also asked Dr Emma B. Williams for some nutritional advice for getting through the day. 'Drink plenty of fluids to get yourself rehydrated. A smoothie made with milk or yogurt can help settle the stomach and neutralise any acid reflux. Moderate amounts of caffeine may boost concentration in the short term, but bear in mind that too much caffeine may cause headaches and feelings of restlessness.'
So there you have it. Five simple dos and don'ts for getting away with a workplace hangover. You can buy us a drink to thank us later. Just not on a work night, yeah?
Want more real-speak office etiquette tips? Check out GoThinkBig.co.uk for straight-talking careers advice
Follow Siam on Twitter @misssisig
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.