Tell me it’s not just me who gets anxiety dreams? Please? No really, please? OK, yours might not be about getting chased by shop mannequins with real eyes (yep – just me), but with anxiety rates soaring in the UK among 20-somethings (research shows as many as one in three graduates in their 20s suffer from it), there’s probably a whole load of you suffering from panic-dreams?
It’s certainly true for me that every stressful period in my life correlates directly with the intensity of my dreams, whether it’s being chased by the aforementioned mannequin or going to a party and – regardless of how many items of clothes I try to put on – remaining persistently nude.
During my GCSEs, when I’d convinced myself that getting less than all A*s would result in me living in a bin with my best friend Mr Heroin Crack Smack (I didn’t understand drugs), I once dreamt I killed my own dog. The resulting remorse (and sweat) was pretty intense.
Dreams are all about what your subconscious is trying to tell you (as in, conscious you) via symbols and situations, so it’s not always easy to break down what they mean exactly. But in the spirit of science/trying to do something, I spoke to Ian Wallace, a top dream psychologist (he’s been on the BBC and written a book and everything) to get at least some answers.
‘People tend to think I’ll turn up in a pointy hat and say, “Aha don’t go to the market next Thursday or you’ll lose your purse,”’ says Ian. ‘A mainstream school of thinking is that dreams happen to you, and you can’t do anything about it but the reverse is true. You create everything in them, just as you do in waking life.’
Which means that your nightly visions can certainly appear more vivid, depending on what’s been happening in the daylight hours.
‘If you’re stressed and unsettled, you might wake up more often in the night, which tends to result in you remembering more about your dreams. Anything causing tension, whether positively or negatively, will appear more vivid because you’re engaging in something more intently,’ he explains.
The most intense dream being, of course, the nightmare, which is commonly associated with stress – remember me killing my dog?!
‘There’s lots of nonsense around about nightmares, but a nightmare is just a type of dream where you’re really trying to get your own attention about something. It could be an opportunity you haven’t noticed, or an issue that really needs solving,’ says Ian.
Sort of like if I was stood across the road from you, trying to tell you that there was a piano about to fall on your head. I’d yell and wave my arms about and scare the shit out of everyone around me.
So now we’ve got the basics covered, I quizzed him about the five most common dreams people experience, what they mean in waking life and what you can do to prevent them from recurring.
You’re being chased
Ah, that old chestnut. The key here is the term ‘pursuit’ and, regardless of whom or what is chasing you, the message is still the same: you’re pursuing something in your life, but there are obstacles in the way.
‘When you create a “being chased” dream, you’re pursuing some ambition or experience, and there are challenges around it. One of the things you can do in the dream is actually turn round and ask your pursuer what they want and what they need, and you’ll get a clear answer about what to do.’
Perhaps my real-eyed mannequin just wants a more stable life, or to start going to the gym again or to stop spending money on over-priced bottles of wine in gastropubs.
Your teeth are falling out
According to Ian, this is most common among women, and it doesn’t mean your grandparents are going to die, you’ve got a fear of ageing, you really need to go to the dentist, or you’re about to get married. Sorry husband-chasers.
‘Teeth are about power and confidence – you tend to show your teeth when you’re happy and smiling or when you’re asserting yourself and snarling a bit. So if you dream that your teeth are falling out, or crumbling, there are some situations in waking life where you feel you don’t have the confidence, or you aren’t able to display it in the way you'd like,’ Ian explains.
What to do? Work on appearing more confident, even if you feel wobbly and nervous inside, and the dream should disappear.
You can't find a toilet
Yes, sometimes this dream occurs when you genuinely need the loo (we’ve all got a classic ‘my sister dream-peed in the cupboard all over my clothes’ story), but apart from that, it’s about needs. Dreams about finding a toilet, but there’s no cubicle or walls or you can’t shut the door, are all common tropes, too.
‘This means there’s some situation in waking life where you’re not looking after your own needs because you’re spending all your time looking after the needs of other people. It’s another common dream for women,’ says Ian. ‘If you dream there are no doors or no walls in the loo, then it shows you have to set some personal boundaries.’
Say it with me: no, sorry, I can’t do that right now. ‘No’ is a hard word to get out sometimes, and we’re all so frightfully British about turning people down, but if you’re running yourself into the ground (and having constant toilet dreams) then you need to start saying it loud and proud.
Not actually loud, though. Just metaphorically loud. Otherwise they could get upset.
If nakedness is your dream du jour, it’s most likely that you’re entering a new situation in life
You’re naked in public
If nakedness is your dream du jour, it’s most likely that you’re entering a new situation in life. Be it a new job, relationship, any circumstance that sees you hiding your vulnerabilities could provoke a bit of dream-bap exposure.
‘The clothes in the dream reflect the nature of the situation. We tend to use our clothes to present a particular image to people around us, so if you create a dream where you’re wearing inappropriate clothes – like going to a funeral in a clown’s outfit – you’re worrying about how you should appear to other people in life,’ says Ian.
His advice is to always try to have confidence in your talents, and never be afraid to show some vulnerability.
You’re unprepared for an exam
Weirdly, celebs have this dream way more than us commoners – Ian’s helped a fair few people in the public spotlight – and it usually means you’re judging yourself way too harshly.
‘If you get this dream, you’re being far too self-critical, so accept that things won’t always be perfect and focus on where your talents lie,’ says Ian. ‘People in the public eye get this dream a lot, and it usually involves Simon Cowell! He’s often the invigilator of the exam, probably because he’s often seen as the ultimate arbitrator of talent.’
Well, that’s debatable. But still, if you’re constantly sitting your Maths GCSE over and over, take a look at your inner critic and tell it to shut the hell up. Your dream-self will thank you for it, if only to stop Simon Cowell’s square-barneted, orangey, melty face haunting your mind.
Follow Stevie on Twitter @5stevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.