An organisation shouldn’t be able to break your heart, but it can. Being sacked has all the elements of being dumped – it’s not your choice, it feels like a personal insult, it’s a rejection. Even worse, that feeling that you’re not good enough is accompanied with paperwork stating as much, plus you’re saddled with the financial stress and the issue of how on earth you’re going to explain this to potential employers.
In short, it’s an emotional shitshow.
So, the question you’re asking, person who’s just been sacked (or pessimist who’s bookmarked this page for future reference), is: how do you cope?
Sign up for JSA
Don’t be too proud to sign up for JSA straight away, or avoid signing on in the hope that it’s all just temporary. It takes a while to sort, so get your claim in now. Hopefully, by the time they get their shit together you won’t even need it.
Talk. To humans, not the cat or yourself in the mirror
Your brain after being fired is like a broken record of shock, disbelief, anger, resentment, sadness and fear. If you want to hear another record, like Now Happiness! or Feeling Better’s Greatest Hits, talk.
Career coach Yoginee Patel says, ‘Losing a job is just like any other loss, such as the loss of a relationship or a friendship. There’s a grieving process to go through. Talking allows you to process the emotions.’
**Don’t talk crap, though **
Don’t go all Ross Geller and insist you’re ‘fine’ until people back away slowly. You’re not fine. You’ve been rejected, and that rejection has made you broke. You can’t paste over a wound like this by vomiting faux sunshine: feel terrible for a while.
Yoginee says, ‘It’s OK to experience these emotions. You can’t just block them or cover them up with positive feelings and emotions and words.’
Get mad, don’t get even
It’s fine to be angry. In fact, I’ll join you: BASTARDS! HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO YOU? OMG, you’re so right, I think he wears a wig, too. Er...no, I’ve never suspected that he kills prostitutes. But the wig? Totally.
Just in case you were picturing yourself wreaking delicious revenge on your former boss/that girl who ratted you out/the whole damn building, um, please don’t. There’s nothing more awkward or pitiful than an ex-employee who thinks they’re taking revenge.
Even if you went full Snowden on them and actually took them down, you’d always be known as ‘the disgruntled former employee’ and an artist’s impression of you will always give you a second chin and serial-killer eyes.
‘It’s a natural process to experience anger,’ says Yoginee, ‘so experience all these emotions that come up. Just don’t do anything that might detrimentally affect you.’
Marc Burrows got fired from a big music industry PR firm in the presence of an 8ft pink, glittery dog left over from a video shoot, and says getting bogged down in your own bitterness is important to avoid.
‘Being angry doesn’t help and it’s one of the first things you feel. It’s like being dumped – all your friends will immediately be on on your side: “You were too good for that job”, “Plenty more out there”, etc. Don’t listen – let it go and try really hard to be all about opportunities.’
Indulge – a bit
Marc also recommends moderate indulgence in an attempt to heal. ‘In the short term, take advantage. In moderation, lie-ins, box sets and free time are the only upside to unemployment. Write songs, paint, read, indulge yourself a bit or you’ll go mad – in fact, look forward to your free time while it lasts!’
Of course, what looks like indulgence on days one and two of unemployment start to look worrisome when it turns into weeks. ‘Do what makes you feel better,’ says Yoginee. ‘If that’s watching Netflix and eating piles of chocolates or playing video games, allow yourself a day or maximum two days to do that.’
Any more than that and it could become a habit, and once you’ve withdrawn from life, ‘it can be a slippery slope to depression.’
Natasha Jones* (name changed because her family and friends don’t yet know she’s been fired and she’d rather they didn’t hear it from us) doesn’t recommend the long indulge either.
She got fired because she lied about having completed a task before she went on holiday, figuring she could do it when she got back, and was found out.
‘My coping strategy has basically involved eating ALL the food and watching ALL Netflix. This is a bad strategy and I would recommend it to nobody – I’m chubby and spotty and unhappy.’
**Go outside – daily, not weekly **
Schedule something in your diary every day. Even if it’s as minor as ‘get milk’ or ‘go to the shop where the cute guy works and make that hilarious joke you thought of, BUT MAKE IT LOOK NATURAL’.
If you’re not ready to stop eating all the biscuits, compromise by going out for ingredients and baking your own while watching reruns of Bake Off – all that sugar and Paul Hollywood’s patronising, I-hope-you-fail ‘Good lucks’.
Scheduling something that involves interacting with people will also help – there’s nothing weirder than saying, ‘Thanks’ when someone hands you your change and realising it’s the first time you’ve spoken in days.
Yoginee advises staying sane by keeping some semblance of an active routine.
‘Get up each morning by a particular time, get dressed and leave the home, even if it is for a five-minute walk around the block.’
It might feel token at first, a limp and perfunctory gesture towards not looking like a depressive slob, but it can actually lead you to being more proactive, where doing things becomes the norm.
Natasha says, ‘My best days are when I make myself do at least one productive thing.’
**It’s all about the future **
Dwelling on what’s happened isn’t just going to make you incredibly unhappy, it’s wasting time you could be spending getting back in the game.
Mark didn’t hang around long before getting his career back on track. He jumped on it like a rat on a Wotsits.
‘The thing to do, the ONLY thing really, is to make sure you’re not rootless or directionless. Try and keep the momentum of your day moving or you just calcify. Immediately start planning your next steps. Start thinking your connections through and looking at your options.’
It truly and profoundly sucks that you’ve been sacked, but you really will be OK. In the words of Paul Hollywood and the sincerity of Mary Berry: good luck.
**Liked this? You might also be interested in: **
Ask An Adult: I’m Fed Up At Work: How Do I Go About Getting Another Job
Follow Erica on Twitter @Ericabuist
Illustration by Assa Ariyoshi
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.