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This morning rumours have been swirling on social media about an alleged affair between Love Island’s Amber Rose Gilland England football playerJack Grealish.
The commotion stems from a tabloid story hinting at the pair spending time together. Grealish is known to be in a long-term relationship with childhood sweetheart Sasha Atwood, but has been the subject of a number of stories about him reportedly getting to know other women and being seen on exclusive dating app Raya.
Amber immediately shut down the allegations in a video to her 2.6 million Instagram followers. She hinted that the hurtful rumours ‘ruin’ what she actually has going on in her love life. Talking on her Instagram Stories, she commented, ‘Any relationships or dating that I’ve got going on gets ruined immediately by stories like “this is who she’s dating now.”’ The social media star continued,"Am I? Huh? Wait I'm heartbroken?' And now you've just ruined my actual sh** that I've got going on. So, thank you.' Jack, meanwhile, has not commented.
However, Amber is still being labelled the 'other woman' on social media - a label that points to a much bigger issue. The question is, why does the blame always immediately fall on the single woman rather than the man in a committed relationship?
Why must so many people go with the narrative that the woman is the devious party, desperately doing all she can to split up a relationship?
Many on social media have blamed Amber instantly for the alleged relationship. One Twitter comment reads, 'I wanted more for Amber. Declaring to the whole country she's the other woman? Ew!' Another added, ' This is embarrassing...' In contrast, Jack was hailed as a 'hat-trick' hero. The finger is always pointed our way - and blame follows.
Why must so many people go with the narrative that the woman is the devious party, desperately doing all she can to split up a relationship? There should also be eyebrows raised at the the man in the situation, especially if he’s the one in a relationship.
Even the way we talk about men and women in this respect is inherently sexist. It is shown clearly in the connotations behind the words ‘the other woman’ - a woman who is having a sexual relationship with a man who is married to someone else. Typically, the term suggests blame lies with this woman for ‘breaking up’ a marriage or relationship.
Meanwhile, with no gender-equivalent terms for certain negative labels aimed at women, the behaviour of the opposite gender is often spared. For example, the word ‘mistress’ has no exact male equivalent; and if a wife cheats, it's rare to hear anyone termed ‘the other man.’ Because there is no typical label - or stereotype - for a male ‘mistress’ or ‘other man’, it doesn’t stick in the same way and won’t define him.
We desperately need to retire this tired 'other woman' label and the connotations behind it in order to strive towards gender equality. While of course affairs (if they do happen) are not exactly desirable, where is the balance in blame? After all, it takes two to tango.
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