In a tearful interview with Lorraine Kelly, actress Alice Evansthis week shared the painful experience of her ex-husband, Ioan Gruffudd, separating from her and why she chose to announce the split on Twitter.
The two met on the set of 102 Dalmatians, in which they both starred. It was her first feature film in England - having previously worked in Italy and France - and while he went on to do bigger pictures like Fantastic Four, Evans opted to raise their children full-time. After two children and a relationship spanning two decades, Gruffudd said he ‘no longer had feelings’, according to Evans, in a request to separate.
At that moment, she tweeted that Gruffudd was leaving. That was ten months ago now, but Evans was interviewed by Lorraine Kelly this week, where she explained the decision to hit ‘publish’ on that tweet. Speaking on Lorraine, she said: 'I thought "I'm going to lose my mind" and I tweeted "he's leaving us" and then all hell broke loose.'
While Evans received a lot of sympathy and support over what was clearly a shocking and overwhelming breakup, she faced heavy criticism for the tweet. Since then, she has taken to Instagram and Twitter to vent her frustration at her ex's behaviour and her own devastation over the separation, making a series of accusations aimed at the Fantastic Four star.
This included claims he was unfaithful towards the end of their 14-year marriage (Gruffud has not responded publicly to the allegations). Evans also shared that Gruffudd had not reacted to the tweet well and neither had many other people, but that the reaction from the public was ‘50/50’. She continued: ‘I don’t think anyone had really [tweeted to announce their divorce] before, and the reaction I’d say was about 50/50.
'I don’t understand how people can talk about a "dignified silence" when I’m talking about my entire life falling to pieces around me.’
‘There were a lot of people who were angry with me, almost didn’t believe me which is kind of weird. I don’t think that’s something I would make up - that he was leaving me after 20 years if he hadn’t.’ Evans opened up about how she was expected to keep quiet, saying ‘a lot of people were annoyed with me and there was a lot of talk of "a dignified silence". I don’t understand how people can talk about a "dignified silence" when I’m talking about my entire life falling to pieces around me.’
In what Evans admits is a ‘messy story’, she went back and forth from tweeting - even being legally advised to stop at one point. But one element of this circumstance has remained true for her throughout the separation and divorce: she doesn’t believe she ever owed anybody silence. While some of her now-deleted posts could be viewed as ‘messy’ as Evans herself puts it, there is no protocol for announcing a divorce. And requesting one - or being at the other end of a proposed divorce - is an emotionally charged and difficult situation. Whatever we do in those moments will not be our finest hours, but they are warranted. All our emotional baggage - messy or not - is valid.
And why should she shut up? Throughout the separation and subsequent divorce proceedings, Evans has struggled monumentally. Evans said she knew something was wrong in their marriage when her now-ex returned from filming outside of LA where they live and hugged and kissed the children, before giving her ‘a dry kiss on the cheek.’ Throughout the interview, Evans struggled to answer questions about the divorce and Gruffudd’s alleged affair and is clearly still fragile about the breakup. Unquestionably, Evans is extremely hurt.
There’s an unfair and certainly outdated narrative that women should stay silent in a situation like this - facing the unexpected end of their marriage - for the sake of 'their dignity'.
Yet one in five heterosexual men will have some sort of affair in their marriages, according to some research. If it’s so common, why are women expected to keep quiet? Surely discouraging women from naming their pain and having conversations about it only causes it to grow - and keeps it a taboo for everyone else too.
Evans has been called ‘crazy’, ‘demented’, ‘weak’ and every horrible name imaginable on social media following her outcries. Over on Twitter, people still criticised her today for speaking out. One user wrote ‘Hope you move on and get over this soon. You're embarrassing yourself, not to mention your children.’
But this is wrong - it takes tremendous bravery and vulnerability to speak about pain so frankly, to admit that someone has wronged you and you’re struggling with the aftermath. And opening up in such a raw way will help others, too. In fact, many women have taken to Twitter to thank her for sharing her story, as it helped them come to terms with their own divorces.
‘How dare we as women have the absolute audacity to be angry and speak up for ourselves when the father of our children decide they’ve had enough and walk away leaving us to repair their little hearts…when they no longer control you they control how others see you!’ one Twitter user said in response to Evans’ interview.’
To put it bluntly, Evans’ life has been completely upended. Her future has been redirected to an unclear destination. And according to her Lorraine interview, she and Gruffudd have ‘an incredibly long and messy divorce ahead of them’ which has blocked her from making any concrete plans for herself, her career, or children, or on moving back home to England.
Through tears, Evans said ‘After 20 years of marriage and two children, I feel like I was owed more’ and called Gruffudd a coward. She continued ‘I just think I should say this because I’m not the only woman who has gone through this.’
Right now, Evans’ ability to move on has been paused. The only thing she can do - whether it’s to make sense of the breakup, to heal herself, or something else entirely - is speak. It’s her right to tell her story in her own words, rather than allow the narrative to come from elsewhere.
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