Good news, pal – you’re a millennial. Know what that means? You live your life on the internet, you’re screwed by the recession, have narcissistic tendencies, high expectations for life (but are easily bored), and can’t help comparing yourself to your peers.
Nope, let’s not stop there. You’ve also got ‘helicopter parents’ (who micro-manage your life and who you’re probably still living with), will get married later in life – ditto with having kids. On the upside, though, you’re probably more liberal than the generation before you and you’ve got a positive attitude towards entrepreneurship. Score. Right?
Breaking down your personality into a series of buzzwords and phrases in an attempt to pigeonhole you is a super-fun pastime that the media’s very fond of doing – and it’s one that’s went into overdrive as our generation reached adulthood. Here’s seven times major media outlets have labelled you up so they could bitch about you – yes, YOU – on the internet.
'What brands do they love? Sony, Patagonia, Gap, Gillette, Aveda.'
None of this newfangled ‘Apple’ business, then.
'You have to speak to them a little bit like a therapist on television might speak to a patient. You can’t be harsh. You cannot tell them you’re disappointed in them. You can’t really ask them to live and breathe the company. Because they’re living and breathing themselves and that keeps them very busy.'
That's from Marian Salzman, advertising exec and resident expert in patronising those younger than her.
'Almost a fifth of 18 to 39 year olds adopt a carefree attitude to their finances, regularly spending between £50-£150 each week – £5,000 a year – on keeping themselves entertained.'
Because everyone post-39 is 100% sensible with their money.
'I have a term for yuppies in the Gen Y age group -- I call them Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or GYPSYs. A GYPSY is a unique brand of yuppie, one who thinks they are the main character of a very special story.'
This guy can show himself out.
'People have their own personal brand now and, increasingly, class themselves as a celebrity in their own networks.'
Yep, cos Rihanna’s 11 million Instagram followers are nothing compared to our 134.
'There’s nothing like having a 30-year-old son or daughter come home to put your retirement plans on hold. The parents will tend to be between 55-65, and wanting to retire, but will find that they can’t because they still need an income to support their children.'
That’s from a guy who’s managing director of his own company, BTW. Also, sorry for being responsible for the recession.
'All that self-esteem leads them to be disappointed when the world refuses to affirm how great they know they are… This is a generation that would have made Walt Whitman wonder if maybe they should try singing a song of someone else… And these aren't just rich-kid problems: poor millennials have even higher rates of narcissism, materialism and technology addiction in their ghetto-fabulous lives.'
Cheers for the support, you guys!
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.