You know how it is – you break up with someone, and you can’t hide it from the internet. You don’t want to be the girl who tells everyone her feelings on Twitter, or be a ‘Just so sad…don’t want to talk about it :(’ vaguebooker.
But you *are *hurting and you do kinda need to express that, so it does (subtly) change your social media footprint - as Justin Bieber's found out. Here’s how.
1. Your profile picture changes every ten minutes
So you’re newly single, you want to look hot in your profile picture but HOW to represent your optimum self? You kinda want to look hot, but not too try-hard and definitely not too sad – so as a byproduct you constantly change your profile pics every ten minutes to make sure you get it ~just right~.
This also means that you get sucked into a vortex of taking obsessive selfies on your own in your room, trying to rediscover your best angle and just how to fill that empty profile space now that there’s only one person in it.
2. Your Twitter gets a bit hysterical
As above. But worse, because you find yourself alone more so you start getting a bit too over-excited about hot boys and there’s no one there to censor you. Oh, and the Twitpics of you dining for one start rolling in.
3. Your Spotify lists get kinda sad
Oh hi Adele! Oh, there you are Fleetwood Mac! Where have you been hiding, Alanis Morissette?
Suddenly you start really ‘getting’ all those whiny shrieking women on record, because they are like, talking about your life, you know? Replace all your Girls Aloud with Robyn and let your Spotify list be the soundtrack to your tears.
4. You start Instagramming total shit
Ugh, this one is pretty bad. Whether it’s slapping a filter on everything you can just to make the world seem like a prettier place. Or taking pics of ~inspirational~ single quotes you see on posters and uploading statistics about how all relationships are destined to fail anyway. Lol?
5. You suddenly get really into empowering Beyoncé gifs
Look at her shaking her weight back and forth with grace! Look at the way she flicks her weave! Watch how she thrusts what her mama made her!
This can only end in you hunched over the screen in the dark, trawling through ~sassy~ dance moves, emulating two second clips of her and wishing you did Single Lady as well as Queen Bey. But then you remember she’s married. FFS.
Follow Kieran on Twitter @kieran_yates
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.