What a time to be alive. I’ve often dreamt of waking up to Zayn Malik’s beautiful little face reciting poetry and wielding a green lightsabre in front of his face for dramatic effect and luminous green mood lighting.
And whatd’ya know - this morning when I groggily opened up Instagram to check in on the world, there he was with his Morning Zoem (that’s a Zayn Poem, see what he did there?) just for little old me and his 26.6 million other followers.
‘Like a shameless flower cries at every wedding', the poem reads. ‘You don’t have feelings you just have petals. There is no meaning it’s just aesthetics’. Let’s unpick it a bit, shall we?
One might infer that Zayn is referring to the subject of his spontaneous little poem as being a bit superficial. The petals could be a metaphor for the thin, fragile layers of beauty that they use to shield their true selves with (can you tell I dabbled in English Literature at uni?) for some one dimensional attention. But the trouble with that is, once those petals fall there's nothing remarkable to behold. Some might say flowers are just decorative, you see. No substance, just something pretty to look at for a limited amount of time. And I'm guessing Zayn isn't the biggest fan. It's all pretty deep, if you ask me.
We'll skim over the bit about fleshy acrobats because I'm not too sure what we can take from that, but hey, let's forgive Zayn's elaborate analogies and unconventional rhyming rhythm and move on.
Another understanding of our first in what I hope to be a series of Morning Zoems, could be that Zayn is commenting on our unhealthy relationship with our phones and social media. Yeah. I went there.
See, Zayn's typically not the biggest Instagrammer as we know. And the 'underlying desperate tone to the world of real authentic iPhone likes preventing this place of role play' could be a cheeky little nod to the discussions we've been having out in the real world about how everyone's unhealthily obsessed by 'likes' and no one is ever their true selves online, it's all performed through a filter.
READ MORE: Look Back At All Of Zayn Malik's Hairstyles
ZAYN's hairstyles
2010
Back in 2010 when ZAYN appeared on The X Factor, the singer had classic black hair in a simple style.
2012
Two years later, ZAYN was still rocking his black hair but styled it into a quiff.
2012
A few weeks later ZAYN experimented for the first time with bleach and coloured one streak of his fringe blond.
2012
Later in 2012, ZAYN went even further with the blond bleach, leading to this epic look.
2013
In 2013 ZAYN rocked shorter black hair, accompanied with facial stubble.
2013
Later on in the year of 2013, ZAYN showed off a more grown up look with a thicker looking beard and dark locks.
2014
After letting his hair grow for the past year, ZAYN channeled his inner Justin Bieber with this hairstyle. Pictured here with his bandmate Louis Tomlinson.
2014
In the same month, ZAYN tidied up his longer locks and looked smart in November 2014.
2014
When One Direction attended the American Music Awards in December 2014, ZAYN showed off his brand new style.
2014
In the same month, ZAYN showed off yet another new hairstyle when he attended the NRJ Music Awards with this slicked back look.
2015
Pictured here with his mum, ZAYN changed his hairstyle dramatically in 2015 when he got a short buzz cut.
2015
Following on from his buzz cut, ZAYN decided to dye his short hair GREEN! ZAYN's ex-fiancé Perrie Edwards debuted the look on her Instagram page with this photo.
2015
It seems ZAYN wasn't a fan of his green hair as just a few weeks later he showed off his white blond buzz cut. Taking to Twitter ZAYN wrote, 'White hair'.
2015
With his hair growing slightly, ZAYN attended the Paris Fashion Week looking very handsome with his shorter looking hair.
2016
To celebrate the release of his debut solo track 'Pillowtalk' in 2016, ZAYN appeared in the music video rocking blond hair with his girlfriend Gigi Hadid.
2016
ZAYN debuted his bright pink quiff on Valentines Day in 2016. Aww!
2016
When the pink dye washed out, ZAYN was left with this light pink hair do.
2016
Come May and ZAYN had yet again shaved off his longer locks. The singer showed off his new cut when he appeared on the red carpet with Gigi at the Met Gala.
2016
By mid 2016, ZAYN's hair was slowly growing back, showing off this look on the red carpet.
2016
In September 2017, ZAYN appeared at New York Fashion Week showing off a look we've never seen before! With dark hair and thick dark beard, fans loved the new look.
2017
When 2017 landed, ZAYN showed off yet another new look! Gone was his dark beard, the singer instead opted for a clean shaven look with medium length hair.
2017
ZAYN returned to the blond side later in 2017 when he showed off a brand new bleach blond buzz cut.
2017
ZAYN's latest look totally shocked fans! The 'Dusk Till Dawn' singer shaved off ALL of his hair in August and later admitted he had to as the bleach had ruined it.
‘I think we like pretending as if our fun is never ending. No one speaks. Just message sending. It’s a silent planet – wait, it’s pending’, Zayn concludes.
But let’s back track a little bit before we lose our heads trying to work out what he really means, because deep down we're more concerned about whether this is a nod towards his next album than a conflated comment on how futile it is to live superficially through the lens of your shiny new iPhone.
Since his birthday (12 January, btw), we’ve been seeing a lot more of Zayn on Instagram than we’re used to. On the 16 January, he teased a cryptic picture of a snake drawn over the top of a red, yellow and green flag-looking thing, captioned with the word ‘studio’. The studio is where one goes to record music; Zayn makes music; bish, bash, bosh, that long awaited follow up to Mind of Mine MUST be on the way soon…
Then he posted a throwback picture of when he was awarded various oversized plaques commemorating the sales milestones of some of his hits. A couple of days later he posted a selfie with the caption Z2.0 (is this an album name, or simply a reference to the fact that the second is on the way?!).
If we gather all of this evidence and pop it alongside the poem AND the video of him singing the words to a song we haven't heard yet over the top of a fragmented home video of him moving around a bit - I know, it's *so *Zayn of him - things look pretty promising for the Zquad. We're watching this space.
Follow Jazmin on Instagram @JazKopotsha
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.