The Reviews Are In For Liam Payne’s Solo Album – And They Are Not Good

One- and two-star reviews across the board. Poor Liam.

The Reviews Are In For Liam Payne’s Solo Album And They Are Not Good

by Rebecca Reid |
Updated on

Liam Payne has released an album. It’s called LP1 (this is an amusing album pun) and it was described by Payne as a ‘labour of love’. Unfortunately for Payne, the reaction to his labour has not been good. Really, really, really not good.

Now it’s beyond easy to take shots at members of One Direction; it was the standard punchline for most of 2011. But since the band broke up (went on hiatus, sorry) other members have smashed solo work out the park. Harry Styles’ new album came out to critical acclaim, Niall Horan has enjoyed commercial success and even Zayn got to collaborate with Taylor Swift. Therefore it seems reasonable to assume that the reviews aren’t about bashing 1D, but rather about genuinely objecting to what LP has created.

‘It’s all fine: shiny and efficient pop, smelling of body oil and new car upholstery. But Payne treats each track like a rental car. He gives each song a spin and hands the keys back like a good lad without leaving a trace. Maybe that’s a very sane decision for a man who was nearly broken by fame. Maybe he is very wise to keep himself back. He has millions of fans who will buy this anyway. But they should be aware he’s gone from One Direction to One Dimensional,’ writes The Independent.

‘Often LP1 sounds like it's gunning for commercial radio play and coveted playlist spots. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but this album is often so focused on hitting every check box that it forgets how to have fun,’ says NME.

'Despite LP1’s effortful attempts to cast Payne as a sexual piranha, the 26-year-old generally comes off as an uptight scold. On Hips Don’t Lie, he stares at a woman’s groin as she dances and warns that she’d better not be wasting his time. “I hope your hips don’t lie unless they’re lying with me,” he sings, a conclusion so deathly it feels like a funeral for reproduction,’ ventures The Guardian.

'The lyrics mostly concern love and sex, of course, and the first half’s new tracks blur into one long mash of hackneyed low-grade romantic pleas and odes to bedroom raunch’ concludes The i.

We feel for Liam, genuinely. Having something that you worked hard on dragged by basically every newspaper and music website must suck. On the upside, Payne is reportedly worth 12 million quid. So even if no one buys the new album, he’ll probably still be able to afford to buy Christmas presents.

READ MORE: It's time to accept that Liam Payne is a fashion icon

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