Harry Styles Is Going To Release Some Music, Jay-Z Promises To Make Him The Biggest Star In The World

Spare a thought for Niall, Louis and Liam (aka Mark, Jason and Howard), but Harry Styles is going to be just fine.

Harry Styles Is Going To Release Some Music, Jay-Z Promises To Make Him The Biggest Star In The World

by Jess Commons |
Published on

Just in case you were worried about what the members of One Direction were going to do next, one things for certain: you don’t need to worry about old Harry Styles. He’s going to be just fine.

See, Jay Z – him being Mr Beyonce, the third richest rapper in the world and close personal friends with the Obamas – has decided to take Harry Styles under his wing and has promised to make him ‘the biggest artist in the world in a year’.

In an interview with the Daily Star on Sunday, Jay Z said, ‘Harry doesn’t need any help with exposure, everybody in the world knows who he is. But he does need to make the transition from being part of a group to becoming an individual artist. I can get him working with the bigger artists, the biggest producers.’

The only snag we can see is, what if Jay Z makes Harry release all his stuff exclusively on Tidal? See, we’re going to need to get a listen to those songs and, God love you Jay Z, but there’s nothing in this world, save for a regular home shipment of 32-hour smoked pulled pork, that we’re going to pay £19.99 a month for.

Fingers crossed Harry pushes for a Spotify release too.

So, what form is this new Harry Styles music going to come in? Well, at the end of last year you’ll remember (or not, depending on how many Christmas parties you went to) that Harry had registered four song titles in his name. Those songs were called Coco, Already Home, Endlessly and 5,738 Miles – which, according to a lot of Directioners is the distance between LA and London.

Sadly they’re about 400 miles out – 5,738 miles would put his destination from LA in Berlin suburb Potsdam, so either Harry’s bad at maths, or he’s got himself a German milkmaid sweetheart. Let’s call her Olga.

Anyways, it’s not all going to be smooth sailing for Harry. Don’t you forget about former bandmate Zayn who’s also been working on his own stuff, most notably with excellent human being and musician Frank Ocean. Surely the clever clogs at various marketing agencies are likely to pit the two against each other in the charts?

It’s Blur versus Oasis! One Direction versus Bieber! Gary versus Robbie! Holy cow, 2016 in music just got a lot more interesting.

You might also be interested in:

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Justin Bieber vs One Direction In Album Sales: Who Won?

Liam Payne Owns The Flying Car From Harry Potter

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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