Did you know that every September, Mariah Carey’s seminal All I Want For Christmas Is You begins to rise in popularity in streaming charts? Eagerly gearing up for yuletide festivities, people start playing the epic pop banger over, and over and over.
But while this brilliant song will help line Mariah’s pockets, overplaying any Christmas song might be terrible for our mental health.
A clinical psychologist has explained that if we hear the same song on repeat, even if we love that song, it can be bad for our brains. Linda Blair told Sky News:
'People working in the shops at Christmas have to [tune out] Christmas music, because if they don't, it really does stop you from being able to focus on anything else. You're simply spending all of your energy trying not to hear what you're hearing.'
Which, presumably, stops you from focusing on what you were trying to focus on in the first place!
What’s the solution? Christmas music isn’t going anywhere, and you might have to wait until the January sales to get a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones. So maybe, how’s about extending the repertoire of oft-played Christmas songs so as to widen the gaps between the big and worst ones e.g. the godawful Slade’s Merry Christmas Everybody and Paul McCartney’s Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time. Some of the below aren’t very Christmassy, well, neither is The Pogues’ Fairytale of New York, so there.
9 Alternative Christmas Songs
1 of 91. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by The Ronettes
The entire Ronettes Christmas album is worth a listen, if you can put the spectre of creepster Phil Spector to the back of your mind.
2 of 92. Little Drummer Boy by Boney M
Bizarre 1980's songs about little boys playing drums? As Christmassy as eating 12 mince pies then burping a tiny bit of sick.
3 of 93. Last Christmas - Carly Rae Jepsen
If it's a bit too raw to listen to George Michael's Christmas songs on the anniversary of his death, give this version a whirl.
4 of 94. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday - Girls Aloud
It's awful, but no more awful than the original.
5 of 95. Oi to the World - No Doubt
Apologies for the intense cultural appropriation sitting on Gwen Stefani's head.
6 of 96. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - *NSYNC
Again, big apologies.
7 of 97. 2 Become 1 - Spice Girls
Undoubtedly the best Spice Girls Christmas number one, and we've given you this video because the closing dance, all set to a breakbeat outro, is incredible.
8 of 98. Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto - Snoop Dogg
Here to make sure anyone feeling a little hard done by this Christmas gets a bit of perspective...
9 of 99. Have A Cheeky Christmas - The Cheeky Girls
Actually not that bad at all, if you can get past how cold the pair look in that CGI snow scene...
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