Victoria Derbyshire: ‘Everyone I Spoke To For Panorama Said They Didn’t Feel The Government Had Considered Domestic Abuse Victims At All’

Ahead of tonight's Panorama on domestic abuse in lockdown, the TV presenter speaks to Anna Silverman about the survivors she met - and her own violent father.

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by Anna Silverman |
Updated on

When Boris Johnson announced on 23 March that we must all ‘stay at home’, the nation was frightened, but for those living with domestic violence the order was especially terrifying.

For Jess*, a survivor of domestic abuse who features in Victoria Derbyshire’s new Panorama about the rise of domestic violence in lockdown, it was the moment her partner turned to her and uttered these chilling words: ‘I was at home with him, and um, we were both listening to Boris Johnson and he looked over at me, he had his arms folded back and chest out, cos he knew that would intimidate me and he looked at me and he said, “let the games begin,”' Jess tells Victoria.

‘He said if you think it was bad before with the rape, he said, you’re in for a rough ride.’

According to the programme, in the first three weeks of lockdown alone, the number of women killed by men was the highest it has been for at least 11 years. Refuges have been hit by staff shortages, social distancing rules and financial pressures. The police across the UK recorded more than 85,000 domestic abuse incidents over seven weeks.

Even before the pandemic, there were not enough refuge spaces for people fleeing domestic abuse. Then, during lockdown, there were 1100 fewer beds than the same time last year. As the ‘stay at home’ order was announced Victoria thought about what this would mean for people who are living with someone violent. She knows what it’s like - her father was violent towards her and her mother when she was growing up.

‘I was able to go to school or go to my best friend’s to get out sometimes,’ the TV presenter tells Grazia. ‘But when the Prime Minister tells you to stay home, well, you’ve got to stay at home. I thought: "Christ, what is this going to mean for them?" Because you are literally trapped.’

There are people who do not know they are in abusive relationships. They think the way they are treated is normal.

The first in-depth research about the impact of lockdown on domestic abuse has been carried out by the charity Women’s Aid for Panorama. Almost two thirds of those in an abusive relationship said the violence had got worse as a result of the pandemic. Over three quarters of them said it had made it harder for them to escape their abuser.

‘[Jess] told me “my husband said to me ‘I could kill you and nobody would know,’” says Victoria. ‘Another woman implied she didn't have to hide anymore or come up with excuses anymore because we had to stay at home and no one would know.’

Victoria visited Jess in the refuge where she had escaped to. Jess told her how her partner raped her over a period of four to five days.

‘Over 100 times she thought,’ says Victoria. ‘He was burning the top of her thighs so that “nobody else would want her.” He was injuring her internally. That was really shocking. I think her experience is one of the most brutal stories a woman has ever told me regarding domestic abuse.’

Did filming the documentary and speaking to the women bring back some of Victoria’s own traumatic experiences?

‘In terms of the feeling of being frightened, yes,’ she says. ‘But some of the experiences that women told me during the making of this programme were much more vicious, I would say, certainly than I experienced, and to a certain extent what my mum experienced. There was an occasion where my father had locked my mother in the bedroom and was beating her up. I was 12 or 13 and I thought he was going to kill her. Our phone had been cut off because he didn't pay the bill. I think that was another way of isolating us from family and friends. The only way I could get help was to run to the police station, which I did, which was maybe a mile away, so that feeling of fear is probably what I had in common with some of the people that I spoke to for this programme,’ she says.

‘When I was younger, it was frightening and scary and sometimes it hurt. And then as I got to 14/15/16, I remember feeling bold and thinking “I'm not going to let him know that he is intimidating.” And that was my kind of strategy,’ she says.

It took nineteen days after lockdown began for the government to announce it would give an additional £2m to domestic abuse helplines and launch a social media campaign to encourage people to report domestic abuse. Then more money came later on. When Victoria speaks to Fiona Dwyer, the CEO of Solace, one of the biggest refuges in UK, she doesn’t seem impressed by the government's response.

‘She said to us “we need proper funding for domestic abuse charities and organisations. Sustainable, long-term funding, statutory funding. i.e by law,’ she says. ‘And Fiona said: "Like they do with funding homelessness, we need the same for domestic abuse survivors.” It's difficult to argue against that.’

Does Victoria think the government care?

‘I interviewed the safeguarding minister and she said the government was very conscious of the challenges and the risks to those in abusive households; that the government was alive to it, that they were responding. I mean, it would be hard to see how the safeguarding minister wouldn't care. But, I didn't meet one charity representative, boss of a domestic abuse organisation or one survivor who had seen any evidence that the government had considered what the impact of lockdown would be on those in violent households.’

She explains she asked almost everyone she spoke to whether they saw any evidence that the government had considered the impact of lockdown on domestic abuse victims, when it announced it. ‘No one said "yes, I think they had considered it."’ she adds.

‘If I'm paraphrasing what they said to me, they said: ‘I don't think the government have considered domestic abuse victims at all.”’

Of her own experience of domestic abuse, Victoria says she feels very matter of fact about it. ‘This is what I experienced, it’s the way it was. Ideally, it wouldn't have been like that. My mum was an amazing mum and tried to make up for the failings of my father. And it was what it was and there’s nothing I can do to change that, apart from make sure my kids have a decent, happy, loving life. I don't feel, as a 51-year-old, I am traumatized by it. I deal with things really practically and matter-of-factly.’

She hopes the documentary will make those in authority think hard about what should happen if we head into another potential coronavirus spike, and what the reality of lockdown is to people in abusive households.

‘It could save someone’s life,’ she adds. ‘There are people who do not know they are in abusive relationships. They think the way they are treated is normal […] That might be the first time somebody in an abusive relationship goes: “oh my god, that's me.”

*Name has been changed.

Read more::a[‘Rough Sex’ Defence Will Be Banned, Say The Government]{href='https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/in-the-news/rough-sex-ban-government/' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer'}

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