Good news for introverts and the socially awkward among us – having just three friends is enough to fulfil our social needs and requirement for human connection.
According to a study survey of around 5,000 women conducted by Peanut, the social networking app for mums and mums-to-be, 52% of women admitted to having just three ‘close friends’, with around the same number reporting they thought it was ‘the perfect amount’.
Most of us will relate to seeing our social landscapes change over the past few years, with the pandemic meaning the pace of our friendships have slowed right down, we’re more likely to turn-down social invitations in favour of staying home (now that we know the world won’t end) and culling peripheral relationships something of a trend.
As a result it means we’re more invested in our inner circles and making more of an effort for those friendships which really enrich and nurture us.
The same survey found that over three quarters of women have less ‘close friends’ than a year ago, though – with work commitments and distance cited as the main reason for it – but nearly everyone agreed that they wanted to spend more time with their pals.
It’s a approach favoured by Love Islander Molly-Mae Hague, who in 2021 said in THAT controversial podcast that she kept her friendships to a minimum.
‘My circle is minuscule. I have literally about five people in my circle, and that includes friends,’ she told host Steven Bartlett. ‘I have acquaintances and I have people in my life that I say are my friends but, no, my circle is absolutely tiny. And I like it that way, I wouldn't have it any other way. I work, I spend time with my boyfriend and I go to bed. That is literally my life.’
And it seems like she could be onto something. Ever heard of the Dunbar’s Number study? In it, social researcher and professor of evolutionary psychology at Oxford Uni, Robin Dunbar, found that five is about the maximum number of individuals – including family - people can keep in their inner circles, with the practical maintenance required meaning any more can be difficult to juggle.
Speaking to The Independent, he said,’ These five people consume 40 per cent of your entire social capital, whether measured as available social time or emotional capital.
‘We give these five an average of nearly 30 minutes a day of our focused time.’
His research also found that maintaining five close relationships can have physical benefits equivalent to quitting smoking or taking up exercise.
If there’s one thing the pandemic taught us, it’s that our friendships don’t need to cost a lot of money or depend on extravagant insta-worthy events to survive and thrive. Even if you can’t always find time to meet up in person, regular communication online or even and old fashioned phone call is enough to keep your friendship ticking over until that next dinner out.