There is no rulebook on how to cope with a break-up. If you’re Bridget Jones, the answer is remaining fully cocooned in your duvet, only surfacing to retrieve your tenth tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Whereas Mamma Mia’s Donna Sheridan would advise you to wipe your eyes, pack your bags and book a no-return ticket to Greece with the girls.
But one heartbroken woman’s suggestion for grappling with the turmoil of a relationship breakdown has divided a corner of Mumsnet, with her raising the question of whether taking time off work over a break-up is acceptable.
The anonymous user shared her turmoil on the London-based forum, writing, “I'm going through a horrible relationship breakdown. We were together a long time and we have a young child (under two). I am heartbroken and I wake up every day and burst into tears straight away when the reality of my life hits. I have a sick feeling in my tummy all the time. I just want this to stop and go back to how it was before this happened.”
She added that the mental demands of her job and the type of environment she is working in mean being “emotionally vulnerable isn’t a good idea”.
“Help, please? Can I be off work for this?” she concluded.
Anyone with an ounce of empathy in their bones can acknowledge – through first-hand experience or otherwise – that break-ups are rough. And this was reflected by several answers, one of which read, “Could you speak to your doctor? Maybe they could give you a week or so for stress?”
Others took a Donna Sheridan approach, “Don’t use this time to wallow; use this time to plan and get your act together. Your child needs you more than ever now.”
But some honest users were not on board with her idea at all, insisting, “It isn’t your colleagues’ responsibility to pick up the slack of work you decide not to do due to it and you are capable of turning up and working (you’re not ill). As an adult you’ve got to shut down your feelings for a bit sometime.”
There is no rulebook on how to cope with a break-up. But could taking time off work make the storm easier to ride? Or just simply delay facing reality?