We're all aware of the gender pay gap, and increasingly we're talking about the gender sleep gap. Now there’s another one to be worried about: the sexual health gap. New research from the University of Glasgow has found that only 48% of women have good levels of sexual health - compared to 83% of men.
Before you panic, that doesn’t mean that the majority of women have untreated STIs. The concept of sexual health in this context includes STIs but also unplanned pregnancies, sexual function and satisfaction (or lack thereof). It's a way of looking at the more generalised sexual experiences of men and women.
While it’s not new news that straight women are having less satisfactory sex than everyone else (a 2017 study found that 20% of women never orgasm, compared to 2% of men), this research is the first to consider sexual satisfaction to be part of sexual health, and as such the statistics make for shocking reading.
It’s also unfortunately true that STIs are sexist.As we wrote in 2019, STIs are sexist for two main reasons: because you’re more likely to catch one if you’re a woman, and because you’re more likely to suffer complications to your health as a result of an STI if you’re a woman.
Other health complications outside of STIs are also more prevalent in women, such as pain during sex.
While painful sex is unusual for men, 75% of women will experience it during the years that they are sexually active. Stress, vaginismus, endometriosis, trauma, dryness - there is a litany of reasons why sex might be uncomfortable, unpleasent or even unbearable, all of which are specific to women.
So, how do we tackle this gap, which is more of a chasm?
First, women need to be aware that sex should not be unpleasant or painful. If sex regularly hurts, and incluing lubricant in your sex life doesn’t fix that, then you should see a doctor. You’re totally within your rights to request a female GP if that makes you feel more comfortable.
We need to change the expectation around sex for women. Orgasms shouldn’t be a bonus, they should be an expectation
Female sexual health is often ignored, and research suggests that we have a tendency to assume that any vaginal ill health is just a touch of thrush which will clear up on its own. This can lead mean that STIs go untreated for long periods of time, at which point they can have a significant impact on your wider health.
In other countries, such as the USA, it’s normal for women to have a semi-regular appointment with a gynecologist. While in the UK we don’t tend to follow that practice, you’re fully entitled to request to see a gyne expert, via your GP.
Second, we need to change the expectation around sex for women. Orgasms shouldn’t be a bonus, they should be an expectation. While the majority of women (around 78%) cannot climax from penetration alone, foreplay, afterplay or the inclusion of sex toys to the main event should offset that. Sex doesn’t just mean P in V, after all.
Apps such as OMGYes can be a useful resource to educate your sexual partner(s).
Dr Alison Parkes of the University of Glasgow, who co-authored the research, said: ‘We think [the wider range of problems in women] may boil down to women’s general lesser agency when it comes to negotiating more pleasurable as well as safer sex with their partners.’
Ultimately the only person who can take responsibility for your sexual wellness is you. Don’t have sex with people who don’t care whether or not you come. See a doctor if something feels wrong. Get comfortable with your own body, ask your sexual partners for what you need - and refuse to bow down to the kind of shame which got us into this mess.
Our picks for the best vibrators
The Best Solo Sex Toys For Women
1 of 15Womanizer Premium 2, WAS £169, NOW £139
Dubbed the 'Prada of sex toys', the Womanizer Premium 2 has more intensity levels than their other - already incredible - product line and an improved Autopilot function to take you on new, unpredictable adventures...
2 of 15We Vibe Melt, £119
A connected and contactless clitoral stimulator, this sex toy features patented Pleasure Air technology which stimulates the sensitive nerve endings of the clitoris with pulsating air waves and gentle suction. The slim and ergonomic design makes it easy to slip between two partners during sex, or to use by yourself - whatever makes you happiest!
3 of 15Liberty by Lily Allen, £89
The upgraded Womanizer vibrator, Lily Allen's 'Liberty' has received rave reviews. It's no surprise coming from the mother of all sex toy companies, and at just £89 it's one of their cheaper options. Don't be deterred by the price though, the orgasms you'll be having with this are more than worth it.
4 of 15Womanizer Duo, £179
The holy grail of vibrators, the Womanizer Duo has been remastered twice to create the ultimate solo sex toy. Combining the Pleasure Air technology of the Pro 40 - that stimulates your clitoris by mimicking oral sex (but better) - with a G-Spot massager intended to make you feel 'full', it's the definition of perfection. At £179 though, you're paying for it. But make no mistake, this is the best investment in yourself you'll ever make - you deserve it.
5 of 15Doxy Extra Powerful Massage Wand Vibrator, £89.99
With 4.5 star reviews across the board and tons of Google search around the Doxy wand, this vibrator is proving popular. It has incredibly strong vibrations operated via large buttons for easy operation during play and an ergonomic body for complete control over pressure levels and angles.
6 of 15LELO ORA 3 Oral Pleasure Massager Aqua, £130
On the even steeper side, the Lelo Ora 2 is the worlds only oral sex stimulator. For £130, you can only hope it fulfils expectations, but as the winner of the Cannes Lions award, we don't doubt it will.
7 of 15Lovehoney Magic Wand Vibrator, £49.99
With 4.5 stars and over 1300 reviews, you know this one has to be good. The mains powered wand means even stronger vibrations, which you can tailor yourself by increasing speed with the wheel function. For £49.99, it's a sex toy draw necessity (if you don't have a sex toy draw are you even human?)
8 of 15Womanizer Pro 40, WAS £119, NOW £59
When this product launched, it caused quite the stir in the sex toy community. Taking away fears of over-stimulation and sensitivity loss, this toy doesn't actually touch your clitoris. Don't be fooled though, the suction and pressure waves do enough to give you your best orgasm yet. At £89, we'd bloody hope so.
9 of 15Lovehoney Love Egg, £12.99
A personal favourite, this Love Egg is the cheapest vibrator of the bunch but by far the most recommended. It's speed wheel means you can go from mild to intense in seconds. While it may not be the prettiest vibrator in the world, it's one I will forever stand by. The reviews speak for themselves, and the power will be the best surprise of all. Currently out of stock
10 of 15Womanizer Classic 2, £119
A must-have in any sex toy draw, the Womanizer Classic 2 is discreet, simple and powerful. The new version comes with a unique and brand-new Afterglow feature which provides a relaxing end to an orgasm when the clitoris is the most sensitive. By short pressing the power button, the Afterglow feature allows the toy to quickly switch back to the lowest intensity level to finish your climax in a more comfortable way. Honestly, they think of EVERYTHING. Currently sold out
11 of 15Bondara Jessica Rabbit, £12.99
Luckily for you, Bondara's best-selling toy is also our cheapest rabbit on offer. At £12.99, you can't really go wrong with this one. Targeted towards beginners, it will ease you into vibrators if you're inexperienced. There's no time like the present to give it a try...
12 of 15Thanks For Cumming, Wally, £70
Wally is a clitoral vacuum stimulator who will keep you cumming back for more. With eight settings there is something for everyone, but don't be fooled by its size, this toy packs a punch. This innovative waterproof vibrator replicates the sensation of oral sex. It does this by using suction to stimulate the whole clitoris leading to enhanced pleasure. Wally recharges fast so it can go all night, which makes it the perfect toy for every situation.
13 of 15Aura Vibe, £67.99
This vibrating 'personal massager' is perfect if you're looking for a more discreet option. The noise out of it is kept to an absolute minimum, even on the highest intensity setting (for which there are three, and seven vibration patterns).
14 of 15Womanizer Scarlet 3, £69
The Scarlet 3 packs the same clitoral stimulating punch as other Womanzier products, but in a smaller package. It fits in your palm nicely for easy placement, a perfect addition to solo or partner play for beginners... but make no mistake, the orgasm is expert level.Currently sold out
15 of 1512 Nights of Pleasure Advent Calendar, £171 (worth £310)
Ann Summers are ahead of the curve this Christmas, releasing their sex toy advent calendar 12 Days Of Self Love with over £300 worth of products. From accessories to spice up your sex life to their most-beloved vibrators (we can confirm the mini rampant rabbit is just as effective as the large version, oh yes), this is a gift your friends will be thanking you for for years...