Rachel Reeves, the expected incumbent chancellor of the exchequer, might not have any declared peeves about the job as yet, but we’re pretty certain the fact her new office has a giant whopping urinal in it, could prove problematic.
Let’s catch you up.
This election is one of many firsts. It’s the first time Labour are back in government in 14 years, the first time Nigel Farage becomes an MP, the first time 12 cabinet members - including Jacob Rees-Mogg, Grant Shapps, Penny Mordaunt and Jeremy Hunt - lose their seats in an election…
Most importantly, for women everywhere who’ve longed to see themselves represented as a solid pair of hands to manage the country’s finances, and for men everywhere who might feel a bit of benefit from perhaps a different way of doing things, it’ll be the first time ever that we get a female chancellor.
Enter Rachel Reeves, the steely MP for Leeds West and Pudsey, who is set to take up the role as soon as Sir Keir Starmer, the incumbent Prime Minister, forms his government. As she put it to Sky News shortly after winning her seat, "The role of Chancellor has existed for hundreds of years and a woman has never occupied it.. And I hope it sends a signal to all women and girls that there is nothing we cannot achieve"
She has got plenty of work to achieve, implementing the Labour party’s promise of “Change” in the form of a new fiscal policies such as: a crack downs on tax dodgers - including non-domiciled super-rich types - increased spending on public services, particularly in the NHS, and VAT on private schools.
However, whenever she wants to take a well-earned break where is she going to go to the toilet?
You see, the private office that houses the chancellor of the exchequer is so used to having men in situ that it has a urinal. According to the Financial Times, the Treasury’s facilities team has been inspecting the room in order to assess whether it’ll be up to the incoming Chancellor’s exacting standards. One source told the paper: 'There has been a discussion about whether it’s appropriate to have a urinal in there and whether it should be removed.'
The paper also received photos of the set-up, which sees the urinal screened off and period products provided above the sink. At the time of the report, a disgruntled Tory source complained that, 'Not only are they measuring the curtains but they are doing up the bathroom.' However, the Treasury office (run by civil servants under Conservative instructions up until, well, voting day) is in charge of the toilets, not the Labour Party.
Reeves’s team were contacted for comment on the ablution situation, but had no comment to give, beyond this vaguely punny statement: 'We are not doing a running commentary on toilet arrangements.'
Toilets aren’t just the focal point of culture wars, their political currency extends beyond. As the lore has it, long before Brexit, David Cameron once spent a bladder-busting nine hours at the negotiating table with the EU. He insisted that not going to the toilet could actually improve his concentration. The 'full bladder technique' a vicarious nod to the former fascist party leader Oswald Moseley who liked to perform speeches in a similar fashion, didn’t actually work in terms of winning round the Eurocrats. And basically led to the Brexit referendum being called. So let’s hope Rachel Reeves has a few more options in her new gaff.