Like So Many Men Who Date Women Of Colour, Prince Harry Has Only Just Started To Understand Racism

Prince Harry is absolutely right about unconscious bias, says Miranda Larbi. But he's also saying the same thing that People of Colour have been saying for decades.

Like So Many Men Who Date Women Of Colour Women, Prince Harry Has Only Just Started To Understand Racism

by Miranda Larbi |
Updated on

The Duke of Sussex has become the undeniable prince of wokeness.

The former Nazi-fancy-dress-wearing prince of lads has settled down with a biracial, American woman who has painted their son’s nursery in gender-neutrally coloured vegan paint.

So far, so modern.

But Prince Harry has gone one step further in his recent interview with ethologist Dr Jane Goodall in this month’s Vogue (guest edited by Meghan).

In it, he discussed the idea of unconscious bias and racism, saying:

'Unconscious bias [is] something which so many people don't understand... ...Despite the fact that if you go up to someone and say, 'What you've just said, or the way that you've behaved, is racist' - they'll turn around and say, 'I'm not a racist.'

Harry went on to explain how counter productive conversations about racism can be, saying: “'I'm not saying that you're a racist, I'm just saying that your unconscious bias is proving that, because of the way that you've been brought up, the environment you've been brought up in, suggests that you have this point of view - unconscious point of view - where naturally you will look at someone in a different way.

'And that is the point at which people start to have to understand... ...You can only be taught to hate.'

Harry, thank you.

You’ve finally penned what many of us BAME folk have been saying since day dot.

Will Harry’s expose of racism make any difference? Well, it’s been trending on Twitter all day and it’s in Vogue so at the very least, the conversation will sit on various coffee tables and hair dressers’ counters around the country - which is more than can be said for many of the op-eds and articles the rest of us have tried to push out.

It's sad but it's true: it’s taken an upper class white man to finally blow the lid off the chat around unconscious bias.

The question is, why has it taken this long for someone like him to address the topic and why it takes a white dude talking about racism for anyone to really listen.

The dynamic of a white man starting to understand racism when he dates a Woman of Colour isn't unique to Harry and Meghan.

A former partner of mine is a white guy who prior to us getting together was like any other privately educated middle Englander. He used to laugh at off-colour race-related jokes and make crude remarks about women.

After a few months, he started to read the books that I (a biracial woman) had read (like Black Like Me and Uncle Tom’s Cabin), and we’d have interesting discussions on the realities of racism in the UK.

Once he’d finished Black Like Me, he was so moved that he recommended his school friends read it and apparently reprimanded one of them at a party for making what he believed to be a racist joke.

He probably did more for the cause in one evening than I’d done in a year of writing about race relations.

Why? Because he’s relatable for this group of society who are unconsciously biased. He’s a reformed character - like Harry.

It’s fair to say that for many people, these topics only start to really hit home once you’ve got leather in the game.

For my boyfriend, that leather was me. For Harry, it’s his wife and baby.

Meghan has been a victim of institutional racism ever since the couple got married, with newspaper columnists going at her for any and everything possible.

Harry has warned the media about their coverage in the past but it’s carried on regardless, in part because of the persistent rumours around Meghan’s supposedly un-regal behaviour.

One wonders what would happen if she just spoke out for once and told this gossip mongering old crones to do one.

The truth is that many of us in the BAME community have been having these conversations for years and there doesn’t seem to be much improvement. We’re still allowing politicians and publications to get away with barely veiled insults and slurs.

The common response when they are called out, as outlined by Harry, is denial.

The worst possible thing to call someone these days is a ‘racist’, and doing so will often backfire with the BAME person being called racist instead for ‘only seeing colour, not people’.

So it does kind of make sense for white men to take up the mantle and see if they can change opinion from within. After all, what insults can be hurled back at them? They’re not as vulnerable as the people actually suffering these slights.

But the important thing is that white voices shouldn’t obscure and overpower BAME ones.

While minorities shouldn’t have to devote all of their time and energy to defending their right to exist, they also have to be guaranteed a space to talk directly about their experiences. We’ve been silenced for too long.

Having white men as allies is fantastic, but they should not speak over those of us who experience racism firsthand.

It’s time to empower BAME people - and women in particular - to talk for themselves.

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