Jennifer Aniston has played many fictional roles throughout her career but the one that seems to have defined her more than any other is a suffering woman scorned.
However, whenever Anniston speaks for herself she makes it perfectly clear that she is absolutely fine. In fact, she’s more than fine. If you listen to what she’s said repeatedly over the last few years, the problem is not her, it’s us.
Over the weekend eyebrows were raised when pictures emerged of a man who appeared to be Brad Pitt arriving at her 50th birthday party. Said eyebrows then became frenzied because it turned out that Brad was not the only ex in attendance, John Mayer was there too.
Things got even wilder when her most recent ex-husband, Justin Theroux, wished Aniston a very public happy birthday on Instagram in a post in which he – wait for it – called her ‘Fiercely loving. Fiercely kind…and fiercely funny.’
Vulture ran the story with the headline ‘Justin Theroux Posts Mysterious Birthday Message for Ex Jennifer Anniston’ making it sound like there was a Da Vinci Code scale mystery to be solved.
Imagine a woman being on good terms with her ex-husbands. Could there be anything stranger? More newsworthy? Less conventional?
If you think about it, unless there's a very good reason such as physical or emotional abuse, it's way weirder to spend years in a relationship with another person, knowing them more intimately than anyone else and then, once you break up, never ever speak to them again. And yet, that is somehow less remarkable than remaining on good terms with an ex.
For too long, people have projected their own fears and insecurities onto Anniston. We’ve assumed that she must be unhappy single, worried about not having kids and concerned that she’s been divorced twice.
All of this says far more about the outdated and conventional attitudes we hold as a society than it does about her.
As she said in a rare statement written for The Huffington Post back in 2016:
‘If I am some kind of symbol to some people out there, then clearly, I am an example of the lens through which we, as a society, view our mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, female friends and colleagues. The objectification and scrutiny we put women through is absurd and disturbing. The way I am portrayed by the media is simply a reflection of how we see and portray women in general…’
All of this speaks to the fact that there is still, in this day and age, nothing that makes people more uncomfortable than the idea that a woman is not only happy single but fine with the fact she has not had children. Society can’t take this at face value because it challenges the sexist status quo that we are all supposed to be conform to, the one that tells women they are incomplete without a male counterpart.
Society is fixated on the fictional timeline by which all women are supposed to live their lives. Get married in your late twenties. Have children in your early 30s. Freak out if things don’t go to plan because your womb is basically a ticking clock and, even if you’re choosing to ignore it, everyone around you can hear it loud and clear.
We’re fixated on single women in mid-life being tragic figures. Jane Austen is long-dead but the spectre of spinsterhood somehow still looms large and, in may publications, Anniston is her tragic modern reincarnation.
The truth about Jennifer Aniston is that she is far more evolved when it comes to her outlook than most of us, in fact, she’s evolved beyond anyone who is still convinced that all of their exes are scorched earth and cries into their Pinot, Bridget-Jones style because they can’t find a man.
Far from seeing her marriages as unsuccessful because they have since ended, Anniston herselfsaid in 2018 that she regards them as ‘very successful’.
More than that, she takes pride in ending relationships which no longer served her which is something we could all learn from. ‘When [the marriages] came to an end’ Aniston added ‘it was a choice that was made because we chose to be happy, and sometimes happiness didn’t exist within that arrangement anymore.’
A lot of stuff gets turned into Instagrammable inspo quotes these days but if you were going to put anything on a t-shirt I think it should be this Jennifer Anniston quote:
‘This is our one life and I would not stay in a situation out of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being able to survive. To stay in a marriage based on fear feels like you’re doing your own life a disservice…’
What if a break up is not a failure to be mourned but a brave decision that should be celebrated? What if success is bravely acknowledging when something isn’t working and moving on? What if staying in a relationship to the detriment of your own happiness is the real tragedy?
We shouldn’t be surprised that Brad Pitt was at Jennifer Anniston’s birthday party. Instead we should celebrate her as a woman who has actually broken the mould and evolved beyond us all. She’s basically an enlightened master at this point.
Of course, it helps that she’s a millionaire who will never have to worry about whether she can afford a house as a single woman, but that’s another story for another time.
Jennifer Aniston is more than fine. She moved on a long time. So should we