The aftermath of the Women’s World Cup final has been fraught with a controversy fronted by, you guessed it, another chilling example of the patriarchy. When President of the Royal Spanish Football Federation Luis Rubiales kissed Jenni Hermoso without her consent in the moments following the Spanish victory, it created a moment of outrage and upset and a huge ripple effect of consequences. At a time where she should have been feeling powerful, Hermoso’s consent and agency was taken from her, due to Rubiales’ assumption that she wanted to be kissed in that moment.
Hermoso has said as much in her own statement (more on that later). And yet, a surfaced video showing the footballer laughing and joking about the kiss shortly after has led to critics suggesting that this disproves her claims that the kiss was non-consensual, and that it had made her feel like a ‘victim of aggression, a sexist act’.
The video shows her laughing at a meme that showed a picture of her kiss with Rubiales displayed alongside an image of former Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas kissing Sara Carbonero, a Spanish TV reporter. The couple then went on to get married.
It also captured her saying: ‘My goodness. Haven’t you seen it? He comes over all enthusiastic and hugs me like this [holds up her hands near her head].’
Rubiales is now using this video to defend himself against a FIFA investigation into his behaviour. He has already hit back at the allegations, calling it a ‘social murder’ and indicative of ‘false feminism’. His mother has even gone on hunger strike in support of his cause. In response, 23 of Spain’s World Cup-winning squad have refused to play for their country again while Rubiales is still in charge.
Let’s make one thing clear – this video proves absolutely nothing. How a victim reacts to a non-consensual exchange like this, particularly during such a heightened event like a World Cup final, should not negate the truth of someone’s actions.
Rape Crisis England & Wales’ guidance on the impact of sexual violence and abuse states that ‘how a person is impacted looks different for everybody.’
‘Some victims and survivors might also feel that they haven’t really been affected by what happened to them. It’s really important to remember that everyone responds differently to sexual violence and abuse – so whatever someone feels is a valid response. There’s no right or wrong way to be or to feel afterwards.’
So a video of a victim laughing after being attacked certainly doesn’t cancel out their status as a victim. Our reactions to violence, abuse and the breaking of our consent can be much more nuanced than that.
What we should be using as evidence of what happened, in fact, is what Hermoso has had to say herself on the subject. In her statement, she describes feeling ‘vulnerable’ and ‘a victim of aggression’.
‘No one, in no work space, sporting or social, should be a victim to this time of unconsensual behaviour. I felt vulnerable and a victim of aggression, an impulsive act, sexist, out of place and without any type of consent from my part. In short, I wasn’t respected.’
She even called Rubiales’ explanation of events ‘categorically false and part of the manipulative culture he has created’, adding that she’s also ‘under constant pressure to come out with some sort of statement that would justify the acts of Mr Luis Rubiales’.
Hermoso did not do so – what she did do, however, was state that this incident comprised only part of a larger ‘manipulative, hostile and controlling’ culture that her and her teammates did not deserve to be a part of.
So by suggesting that the video in question cancels out all that Hermoso has previously said on the record about the incident, we rob her of her voice and her point of view. Again. We take a reaction that we have no way of understanding the complexities and full scope of, and use it to invalidate a viewpoint she has already expressed. We undermine survivors of sexual assault and harassment, collectively.
How many of us have made light of an inappropriate exchange, an unwanted advance, an insulting breach of our consent? I know I have. That doesn’t mean said incident didn’t happen, or doesn’t matter. It just means I reacted a certain way in the moment. As did Jenni Hermoso. Nothing more.