Jeannie Mai Jenkins, the American The Real talk show host announced she’s pregnant yesterday. The 42-year-old confirmed on her show that she’s expecting her first child with her husband Jeezy, who is already a dad of two.
‘I can definitely say that our real fam is growing,’ she told her co-hosts. ‘It's been really hard to keep all of these secrets from you guys because we've had so much to reveal here at the show, including the fact that...I am pregnant!’
The reaction has been largely celebratory, but some narrow-minded fans have pointed out she had previously said she wasn’t going to have any kids.
Jeannie recalled the time when she didn't think she’d have children while chatting on the show this week, but explained that after meeting Jeezy things began to change.
‘I do know that you never say never, and that love can really change you and I'm so thankful to be on a show that's really helped me to grow and to evolve and to see myself differently than I would have ever imagined seeing myself,’ she said.
The fact people aren’t able to accept that Jeannie might have changed her mind highlights a double bind women often find themselves in when it comes to our decisions around having children. In any other area of life we’re not expected to know how we’ll feel in the future. Circumstances and human desires change and evolve and our decisions at each age reflect what’s going on at the moment. Why, when it comes to procreating, should a decision in earlier life be treated as gospel.
What’s more, the double bind really comes into its own when we consider how people react when women say they don’t want children. They’re often patronised and told they’ll change their mind, because society can’t accept it when a woman doesn’t see procreating as her life goal.
‘When new people hear that I don’t want children so many have asked me if I’m worried I’ll change my mind once it’s too late. I can’t believe the cheek of this question, and the presumption that I don’t really know myself or know what’s best for me,’ says Charlie, 33, who is in a long-term relationship and knows she doesn’t want children.
Any criticism around these decisions risks women feeling they have to succumb to pressure instead of realising we’re entitled to live our lives however we like. The decisions we make are nobody else’s business.
As in all other areas of life, women are entitled to change their minds – whether that’s about something as mundane as choosing what to eat in a restaurant, or about whether they want to have children.