This year’s I’m A Celebrity line up has been announced and, surprisingly, some of the contestants are actually very famous. What has been unsurprising, however, has been the reaction to actress Jacqueline Jossa going into the jungle, despite having children.
Headlines this morning said things like, ‘Jaqueline Jossa’s husband adjusts to raising their two daughters alone after she jets to Australia’ and ‘Dan Osbourne pines for wife Jaqueline Jossa after she disappears for I’m A Celeb’.
‘Disappears’, ‘pines’, ‘alone’. ‘It’s all rather boring, isn’t it? Obviously Jossa has not ‘disappeared’ - she’s about to be on national television. And her husband isn’t ‘raising daughters alone’, he’s doing a few weeks of solo childcare which is something that parents all over the world do every single day. It’s the same story as last year when Holly Willoughby was going to leave her children at home in the UK while she presented the show. One newspaper asked, without irony, ‘who will look after her kids?’
Andrew Maxwell, a fellow contestant, also has three children. Interestingly enough, there hasn’t been a single article (at least not at time of publication) about how his wife is going to handle her experience of 'single parenthood'.
The reality of being a working parent is that you may well have to travel, especially if you’re working in a high paid role. Now I’m A Celebrity is quite a weird work trip, but at the end of the day it is still a work trip. Jossa is going (presumably) to boost her profile, advance her career and make some money while she’s at it. So it you take away the kangaroo penis eating and waterfall shower then you’ve basically got the same principles as the types of business trip that female parents go on all the time.
Unfortunately the shaming of women who travel for work and therefore leave their children at home isn’t reserved for famous women. It happens to us normies too. As a small child I remember being asked how I felt about my mother leaving me to work in Germany for short periods of time. In truth it never bothered me until other adults suggested that it should. All I really cared about what whether or not she came home with presents (she did). In adulthood I respect a great deal that she was able to maintain a career which involved working internationally while also having three children under the age of six.
I grew up in the 90s, but apparently this travel shaming hasn’t changed. ‘I went away for ten days recently’ a friend who has two children aged one and four told me, ‘my NCT friends acted like I’d put the kids up for adoption. Yes it was quite a long time to leave the kids and yes, I missed them. But I also loved being able to focus totally on work. When I came home I felt refreshed and more like myself. If it weren’t for the raised eyebrows and “you’re so brave aka selfish" comments, I’d have said the whole thing was perfect.’
The mum shaming that happens to non-famous women who travel for work is exactly why the reaction to Jaqueline Jossa’s sojourn to Australia matters so much. The tabloids have always made news from the choices of famous women and always will. But on this very specific issue, the issue of leaving your children in order to focus on your career for a few days, the message is important. When Jossa is portrayed as a less than perfect mother for opting for a few weeks away from her children, it sends a clear message - putting your career first, even for a few days, is Not Allowed.
Whether it’s a marketing conference in Frankfurt or a reality TV show in Australia, sometimes you need to leave your kids at home with their dad, or their grandparents, or a qualified professional. And, not that it should need to be said in 2019, that is completely and totally OK. You are not less of a good parent for leaving your child. You are not scaring them for life by taking a business trip. And honestly, as long as you come back with decent presents, they probably won’t even really mind that you were gone.
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