Sometimes people get married when, let’s be honest, they probably shouldn’t have bothered (looking at you Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries). And sometimes people get engaged but don’t even make it to the aisle. It must be a time of heartache, confusion and upheaval. And once that’s died down... awkwardness. Because who gets to keep the engagement ring if the wedding has been called off?
This is the bizarre scenario new Love Island host Maya Jama is navigating at the moment. She’s reportedly been sent a legal letter asking her to return the £800,000 engagement ring her ex-fiancé, the basketball player Ben Simmons, gave her. Ben proposed to Maya in Christmas 2021, but the pair split up last summer so they could both focus on their careers.
A source told The Sun: 'Given Ben has never, until now, asked for the ring back, you can appreciate the letter came somewhat as a surprise to Maya. But Ben was really shocked when she left and didn't give him the ring back.
'He was madly in love with her and thought it was forever so was really p***ed she didn't give it back. It cost around $1million and they were engaged less than a year.'
A representative told MailOnline: 'Maya received a request from Ben's representatives on Friday afternoon, asking her to return the engagement ring that he gave her as a gift last year. This was the first time that she has been asked by Ben to return it and, for the avoidance of any doubt, she has never refused to return it. Maya is making arrangements to return the ring to Ben and wishes him all the best.'
There’s a lot to unpick with this debate generally. Was someone unfaithful? Was someone abusive? Is the person who did the dumping asking for it back, or the other way round? Was the ring a family heirloom?
Let’s say the relationship ended equally and amicably, or with someone innocently realising they don’t love their partner anymore. It’s only fair to offer to give the ring back, especially if you’re the one calling it off. It’s the gesture that’s important. You can always secretly hope it’s batted away with cries of ‘don’t’ be ridiculous: it was a gift and I want you to keep it,’ [{href='https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/tv-and-film/love-island-is-tanyel-right-about-men-having-to-pay-for-the-first-date/' }as I do when I suggest to split the bill equally on a first date while thinking 'please say no').
If there was foul play and someone cheated or mistreated their partner, it makes more sense if the person who bought the ring demands it back. Likewise, if you were bought the ring and then found out your partner was cheating, I’d say that excuses you from having to offer to return it.
Refusing to return it when someone’s asked for it back is another matter, and perhaps more of a legal question. Is it theft? Or does any gift immediately belong to the receiver?
‘In broad terms, an engagement ring is given as an "absolute gift" and, as such, belongs to the person to whom it was given,’ according to DAS Law’s Nicole Rogers. ‘The law takes no account of which partner calls off the engagement so, regardless of who broke off the relationship, the ring does not have to be given back,’ she adds.
‘If the ring is a treasured family heirloom, a court would be more likely to assume that there was an implied intention that the ring would be returned if the couple split up. Although, once again, proving that it should be considered as such could be tricky.’
Michelle Brammer, a divorce & family lawyer for Woolley & Co Solicitors, says ‘It is extremely rare but an application can be made to the court for the return of the ring if no agreement can be reached. I would hope that this would not be the case given the likely value of the ring and the costs involved in going to court.'
So if you find yourself in a failed engagement, offer to give it back - you'll look good and hopefully they'll say no anyway. Remember, it's unlikely you're under any legal obligation to return it. Then again, who wants a constant reminder of a failed relationship on your finger, anyway?
But if you’re a scorned woman who’s been wronged by your waster ex, don't even offer. Keep the damn thing and turn it into the best f**k-you earrings you’ll ever own. Diamonds are forever, after all.