Earlier this year the excitement about what summer 2021 would hold was palpable. Everyone was clear on one thing: we’d ALL be having lots of sex. How could we not? After a whole year of lockdowns, bad weather and restrictions an entire generation was counting on the sacred trinity of vaccinations, good weather and the return of fun to bring with it a tidal wave of sex. Only, none of those things quite seemed to turn up at the same time, leaving many of us waiting for our second (or even first) jab, waiting for it to stop raining, waiting for the party invites to roll in - or, waiting for all three. Of course while summer has had its high points, a straw poll of Grazia staff and their friends this morning revealed that: it was not the hot girl summer we were promised.
Never fear, though, because we’re now entering Horny Girl Autumn: your true chance to live out your hot girl fantasy life. The A-listers are already leading the way, of course. Megan Fox is truly the Queen of Horny Girl Autumn. Everyone knows that she and Machine Gun Kelly are Doing It, thanks to an array of sensual red carpet appearances and Instagram posts. Well, Megan has already made a head start on the rest of us when it comes to HGA, hinting on Monday that she and her rocker bf had ‘christened’ the table at their AirBnB rental. The 35-year-old actress revealed that the large dining table behind her at their $30k-a-month pad may have been used for more than just eating at. ‘When I tell you that the table at this air bnb saw some things 🥵,’ Fox captioned the photos, while MGK, whose real name is Colson Baker, added, ‘I’m really glad that’s not our table anymore.’ When you think about it, Horny Girl Autumn is actually way more this couple’s speed than Hot Girl Summer: it's all about their grungecore aesthetic.
Which brings us to Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian whose hot girl summer vibe is now seguing perfectly into Horny Girl Autumn. They recently shared some edgy looking photographs of themselves on a trip to Paris, with their tongues down each other’s throats on a carousel, and in front of the Eiffel Tower dressed all in black (that’s their thing, in case you hadn’t noticed). There's no doubt that these two are embracing HGA (as well as one another. A lot).
If you needed any more evidence that we’re in the era of Horny Girl Autumn, you need look no further than the Venice Film Festival where Zendaya almost single-handledly spearheaded the entire movement whilst wearing jaw-dropping skin-skimming Alaia, Zoe Saldana and husband Marco Perogo were pictured kissing on the red carpet, Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas were all over each other at his concert, and it's only a matter of time before we see Bennifer back at it again.
Horny Girl Autumn really could be a better prospect in lots of ways than Hot Girl Summer was.
Hear us out: first of all, you can be way more comfortable: horny girls can get snuggly in sweaters and roll necks as well as thongs and hot pants. Cold weather is way more conducive to getting steamy than being hot and sweaty: who doesn’t want to cuddle in front of a fire? Plus: it coincides with cuffing season, so your chances are looking good.
We now declare Horny Girl Autumn: officially open.