Picture the scene. You’re settling down for a romantic date night meal with your other half. But then the thorny topic of politics rears its head. You’re a staunch lefty but your partner has a more conservative viewpoint, and the familiar tension resurfaces as you both scrape your plates in silence. But do political differences always have to be a dealbreaker in relationships?
Such is the case on season eight of Love Is Blind, when contestants Sara Carton and Virginia Miller shocked viewers during the season finale by both turning down their respective matches, Ben Mezzenga and Devin Buckley. The reason? For both women, it came down to political differences.
‘I love you so much, but I’ve always wanted a partner to be on the same wavelength,’ Carton told Mezzenga as they stood at the church’s altar in front of friends and family. ‘And so today I can’t,' Carton said, leaving Mezzenga and those seated stunned. 'I’m sorry, but I don’t want that to be misunderstood. I still love you, and everything about you is amazing. And I care about you so much.’
Carlon continued, ‘I know that the connection we have is so real, and my heart is there. But we talked about a lot of the values I hold so close to my heart. Making this decision, my mind is telling me I can’t,’ before walking out of the chapel.
Afterward, in the car with her parents and sister, Carton admitted that she felt ‘numb,’ and that she hopes she ‘made the right decision.’ She recalled a conversation she had with him about the Black Lives Matter movement. ‘I’m no expert, but like when I asked him about it, he was like, “I guess I never really thought too much about it,”’ Carton said. ‘That affected me. Especially in our own city. How could you not?’
In a later piece to camera, Carlon said: ‘Sometimes I did wonder if it was surface, fun, carefree love that we had. Equality, religion, the vaccine — I brought up all these things because I think they’re all important conversations. Whatever you believe, at least have the conversation.’
Meanwhile, Miller and Buckley mostly avoided talking about politics, until later in the series where they had a candid conversation about their views. Buckley said he wasn’t ‘super big into politics’ and said his family typically has conservative views. Although Miller said that she didn’t mind if they shared different political opinions, she admitted it would be ‘kind of alarming’ if he was ‘way on the other side of the spectrum’ on political issues that matter to her. At the altar, Miller said she wasn’t ready – and later elaborated this decision was due to politics.
‘Devin told me a lot about his core values, something that he did not want to talk about on camera,’ she said. ‘I still to this day don’t feel really comfortable telling you Devin’s views. But I will be very clear about mine. I 100% support the LGBTQ community. I also believe that women should have the decision to choose if they want to have an abortion or not. I also believe different religions should be valued. … These were really important things to me.’
This has reignited the age-old discourse about whether relationships with different political views can survive. Naturally, the internet is divided over Carton’s decision. Some supported her for standing up for her views, with one user writing ‘Love is Blind misses that mark that you actually truly to need to be equally yoked in beliefs, politics and finances to have a successful marriage. Chemistry in the pods with not carry you and marriage is not blind.’ A second agreed: ‘The only thing I liked about this season of love is blind is the topics of politics and social issues. Those topics are so important to address going into a marriage.’
However, others disagreed, suggesting that she shouldn’t have placed so much emphasis on politics. One user commented on Carton's Instagram post 'This wasn’t love, it's political Sara. Ben dodged a bullet.'
Given the crazy state of the world right now, countless events have highlighted how difficult it can be dating over the political divide. A 2017 survey by the charity Relate found that one-fifth of their 300 relationship support counsellors have worked with clients arguing over Brexit. A 2017 US survey found that 22% of Americans know a couple whose marriage or relationship ‘has been negatively impacted specifically due to President Trump’s election.’ In last year's presidential election, one trend saw women attempting to ‘cancel’ out their male partners’ votes at the ballot box, which was echoed in a Harris-Walz campaign advert narrated by Julia Roberts, which showed a woman entering the voting booth with her husband to secretly cast her ballot for Harris
Research from Tinder last year found that over a third of young British singles (33%) say it’s important the person they are dating is registered to vote, with a further 21% admitting having either ended a relationship or would do so if their partner wasn’t politically engaged.
Samantha Hayes, relationship and infidelity expert at Cheateye.ai, explains that while dating someone with different political views isn't impossible, it depends on how much those beliefs shape your values and daily life. 'If you can respect each other’s opinions and have open conversations without it turning into a battle, then it can work. But if politics ties into core values like human rights, social issues, or lifestyle choices, it can cause resentment and tension that’s hard to ignore,' she says. 'The key is to focus on what connects you rather than what divides you. Set boundaries around political discussions if needed, avoid trying to ‘change’ each other, and ask yourself—are these differences something we can navigate, or are they going to create constant friction? If it’s the latter, the relationship might not have a future.'
James Preece, dating coach and relationship expert at HeraHaven.com, agrees, adding 'Having different opinions doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. Actually, healthy discussions can strengthen a relationship, as long as both people listen to understand rather than argue to win. Opposites can attract, but for the relationship to thrive, it’s important to prioritise communication, respect, and the things that bring you together rather than what sets you apart.'