‘We Don’t Talk About How Awful It Is To Have A Toxic Boss Enough’

As Buffy star Charisma Carpenter speaks out about allegedly suffering at the hands of Buffy creator Joss Whedon, Fi*, who was tormented by her boss, says work bullies need to be tackled.

Buffy

by Anna Silverman |
Updated on

Last night, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel star Charisma Carpenter - who played Cordelia Chase on the two series from 1997 to 2004 - shared a post on Twitter accusing the show's creator Joss Whedon of bullying. She allged he 'abused his power on numerous occasions', which included threatening to fire her, calling her 'fat' when she was four months pregnant, asking her if she was going to keep her baby and firing her after she gave birth.

In the post captioned 'My truth'she explained she had repressed her pain for years, but Whedon's alleged behaviour on the show triggered anxiety and an ongoing chronic physical condition for her. 'He has created hostile and toxic work environments since his early career. I know because I experienced it first-hand. Repeatedly,' she wrote. Whedon is yet to respond to the allegations.

She ends 'I can no longer remaine silent. This is overdue and neccessary. It is time.' And she’s right: this needs to change for us all – whether it’s a megastar film director or another who’s your bully of a boss. Charisma said she’s coming forward now — two decades later — to show her support for Justice League star Ray Fisher, who last summer accused Whedon of 'gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable' behavior.'

I know what it’s like to stay silent when someone in a position of power makes you feel worthless. I was really proud of myself for getting a job in a prestigious management consultancy firm in London a couple of years ago. For a while, I didn’t notice how badly my new boss was treating me.

I understand why so many victims fear speaking out, and why Charisma Carpenter felt she could only talk about his bullying now.

It started off as a control thing: she made me copy her into every email I sent and then messaged me after each one, criticising what I’d written. Then it became more serious: in a large meeting, a senior manager asked for my opinion, so of course I gave it. Afterwards, my boss hung back to tell me, ‘Your opinion isn’t valid here.’

She set up one-to-one ‘check-in’ meetings every day, where she’d tell me I’d done everything wrong and my skills were irrelevant. She’d enthusiastically ask others on our desk how their weekends had been, then walk away whenever I started to talk. It confused and upset me. I’ve never had issues with colleagues before, and in previous jobs I had managed more than 200 people. I’ve always been self- sufficient, and the quality of my work had never been queried in the past.

I’ve seen how someone in a position of power can be manipulative and cover their tracks. She was very clever with the way she did it, so only I would notice. Being fairly new, I didn’t want to tell anyone. Once, she took me into a meeting room and, after making me cry with her harsh words, asked with a smile, ‘How does this make you feel?’

Worse still, she started making up lies about me, fabricating scenarios to make me sound incompetent. She took her complaints to HR, saying I was damaging the reputation of the company. It was my word against hers – and she had been at the company for years. Six months into my role, she got her way: I was fired.

The whole experience hugely knocked my confidence and made me feel I had no value. I’m happy and working for another company now, where my CEO respects me and says I should speak up more in meetings. But the way my former boss behaved has had a lasting impact on me. I worry before every email I send and second- guess everything I do. I understand why so many victims fear speaking out, and why Charisma Carpenter felt she could only talk about his bullying now, two decades later. Bullies make you doubt yourself and feel like no one would believe you. There needs to be a penalty for this kind of behaviour – because, at the moment, they’re getting away with it.

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