For most of us, the morning starts with snoozing the alarm as many times as possible before we're forced to get up approximately 30 minutes before we have to leave the house for work, drudging around half asleep while mainlining caffeine, lucky to get a brush through our hair. For Ashton Hall however? That's child's play. The online fitness coach starts every morning at 3.40am, and manages to get through a week's worth of self-care before even getting dressed.
Hall, whose morning routine videos are getting up to 40million views on TikTok alone, has been the subject of intense debate this week after showcasing what can only be described as the most ludicrous start to the day that anyone's ever seen. He wakes up to an ice cold lemon bowl that he dunks his face in, (as prepared by his partner), does press ups on his balcony before brushing his teeth with Saratoga sparkling water, and then rubs banana peel on his face (as peeled by his partner) and then going to the gym before settling in for breakfast (as cooked by his partner)
You'll notice a pointed repetition there, but we'll get to that later. First to answer the question you're all asking: who is this man? He's a 29-year-old fitness influencer living in LA who also works as an online coach. Once an NFL hopeful who was signed by the Baltimore Ravens in 2010, the team ended up letting him go. Now he has 9.2 million Instagram followers and claims you can 'reinvent your life in one year'.
As for his partner, who features heavily in his videos in the form of her hands alone (passing him water, food and shoes as well as cleaning up mess he makes), we do not know her name. In fact, Ashton does not even turn to look at her when she presents his cooked breakfast at his desk. And despite the many, many eyebrow raising activities in his morning routine, it's this that's sticking with viewers most.
We're all for the division of domestic tasks, but that's not what this looks like. The partner in the videos is presented as purely a service person, there to wait on Ashton hand and foot. Would he be able to sashay from his sunrise press ups to his philosophical readings to the downstairs pool with such ease if it wasn't for his partner propping him up, tolerating his alarm clock, cooking his breakfast and, most likely, folding his pants for him?
'Hard to pick my favourite thing about my husband but the fact that he’s never heard of Ashton Hall is certainly up there,' joked one user on X. Another wrote, 'That Ashton Hall dude always got a different white woman playing maid to him, are they his actual maids or something?'
Until we see his partners morning routine – or another one of his involving hoovering his bedroom, saying 'thank you' with eye contact, doing a food shop and making her a three course dinner, it's a hard no from us.
Nikki Peach is a writer at Grazia UK, working across pop culture, TV and news. She has also written for the i, i-D and the New Statesman Media Group and covers all things TV for Grazia (treating high and lowbrow shows with equal respect).