In 2019, Gary Lineker made the admission that he's not that bothered about sex. He likes flirting, he likes going on a dinner date, but the actual clothes-off-in-bed bit he could take or leave. He told the Sunday Times Magazine: 'It's a stupid and a horrible thing to say, in a way, but I'm not massively into sex.'
'I quite like flirting a little bit. But then after that.. this is being really honest: it's like hard work. Going on a date and then, yes, come on, let's do it. Do we really have to do all that?'
The reaction to Gary's sentiments towards sex was predictable - shock that any man doesn't want sex, and lots of punchlines. But the way that Gary feels about sex is perfectly normal, and very common.
While it would be inappropriate to claim that he is asexual based on a few sentences in an interview, what he feels about sex is something which many asexual people will recognise.
If you feel the same - that is, not interested in sex - then you might be demisexual, you might not be that into sex, or you could be asexual...
What does asexual mean?
Asexual people don't want to have sex. For some asexual (casually called 'ace') people, having sex is just a meh activity that they can do if they're trying to please a partner. For others, sex is an unbearable experience and something that they actively choose to avoid.
Being asexual does not always mean that you dislike romance, relationships or dating.
'Most people think that being asexual means I don't want any kind of dating' says Hannah, 28.* 'I like dating. I just don't do much of it because it usually leads to sex which I don't have an interest in. If I could go out on dates and still have a relationship without sex, I would be happy with that.'
Living in a society which has a heavy focus on sex, and being asexual (or even just having a limited interest in sex) can be hard. It's important to remember that it's normal to want sex a lot of the time, or not at all - there is no right or wrong.
What are the signs of being asexual?
One of the biggest signs is that you're not interested in sex. You may have little desire to engage in sexual encounters - with other people, or with yourself.
You may be able to see that other people are conventionally attractive, but you rarely, if ever, find yourself experiencing a sexual attraction towards them.
Put simply, sex just isn't on your brain. While others find the idea of sexual intimacy exciting or rewarding, you may not have any desire to be involved.
What makes a person asexual?
The term is expansive. As with most things, being asexual sits on a spectrum, leaving people identifying with it in many different ways.
Although being asexual is about how we experience sexual desire, it doesn't necessarily mean anything concrete about a person's sexual behaviour. For some, it's about a lack of sexual desire in general. For other people, it's a lack of desire for anyone in particular.
Can asexual people fall in love?
An asexual person may not experience sexual attraction, but they certainly can still experience romantic attraction. In fact, many asexual people want - and have - romantic relationships with partners.
It's key to think of sex and romance as two separate things. An asexual person could be romantically attracted to people, but just not find themselves as excited for the sex aspect of it.
Can asexual people get turned on?
Yes! Being asexual doesn't mean you absolutely have to hate sex. For some asexual people, they do have sex and enjoy it - they just simply don't experience desire for it. In other words, they're not fantasising about the act for days on end. They can enjoy it when it happens, but it won't cross their mind otherwise.
What does aromantic mean?
Aromantic people do not experience any kind of romantic attraction to other people, and therefore are unlikely to want to date or experience romance.
However, aromantic people are able to enjoy sex - and therefore they may choose to enjoy sex outside of any kind of commitment or romantic relationship.
If you enjoy sex but find relationships and romance uncomfortable, you could be aromantic. (You could also have just not met someone you want to get serious with yet).
If you think that you might be asexual or aromantic, and you're feeling confused about the whole thing, you can speak to Stonewall, contact theLGBT switchboard, or speak to your GP about getting specialist counselling.
What about demisexual?
Demisexual people do not experience arousal towards people on the basis of their physicality, but can become attracted to people based on their personality and creating an emotional connection.
Again, being demisexual is perfectly normal and nothing to feel self conscious about. We all have different levels of sexual appetite, and no level is better or worse than any other.
READ MORE: These people are changing the way that we view sex.