TBH we’ve been pretty lucky with game timings so far this World Cup. Saturday night at 11pm was pretty much perfect and 8pm on a Thursday, although it was a disappointing match, was ideal for a school night. When it comes to tomorrow’s game, though, things get a bit tricky. You see it starts at 5pm and, depending on where you work, you’re likely to still be in the office for kick-off, which means we’re going to have to be sneaky. Here’s our foolproof guide to watching in the office. You know, short of printing St George flags off and taping them to rulers.
The Food
FINALLY there’s a reason to get your local sandwich chain to deliver eats to your offices. You’re never important enough to go in the meetings where they actually have those little platters from Pret and, if you’re honest, it’s got your back up a little bit.
Here’s our pick of the best platters you can totally expense later on (maybe).
If you’re paying
God love Subway and its cheap and cheerful subs. A platter of sarnies starts from £18 and feeds six-eight people. Although TBH we’re definitely going for the Meat Feast Platter. It’s a little bit more expensive at £19.96 but you do get six different kinds of meat. And when it comes to meat, you know, it’s all about quantity.
If everyone’s being difficult
One person wants all-natural bread sandwiches and another wants salad. FFS guys. Wasn’t this meant to be about teamwork? Bring Me Lunch gets in touch with all the local lunch places round your offices and gets them to deliver a tailor-made buffet for you and all your difficult colleagues.
If the boss is paying
Obviously, if you have a choice between sandwiches and going to a sit-down restaurant we know what you’re going to choose. Deliveroo is the fricking genius solution whereby they’ll swing by all the restautrants in your local area and pick up your favourite thing off the menu. Burger from Gourmet Burger Kitchen PLUS a burrito from Benito’s Hat? Oh, go on then.
The Drink
Eating in the office is one thing, but drinking’s probably not on the cards. Enter The Wine Rack. Thought this booze-smuggling breast holder was only good for a Daily Mail story (boobs and booze? Jackpot) Think again my friend, drinking at your desk is going to be a total doddle with this guy… What do you mean you didn’t buy one? FFS guys. Get it together. OK, here’s how to make a DIY version.
Step One: Buy a box of wine. Drink half (preferably not at work) and remove the cardboard packaging. You should be left with a silvery bag of liquid.
Step Two: Steal some McFlurry straws from McDonald’s. They should be wide enough to fit over the nozzle on the bag’s dispenser. Tape one straw to the nozzle and then tape five further straws to that one to form a McFlurry straw chain. Use duct tape as it’s waterproof.
Step Three: Duct tape the bag to your body so it sits comfortably under your arm, as if you were a chic French girl clutching a delivery of baguettes. Cover yourself with a baggy jumper.
Step Four: Feed the McFlurry straw up through your jumper so it’s easily reachable by your mouth.
Step Five: Turn the tap on the bag of wine to the ‘on’ position then pump your arm down bagpipe style to guide wine into your mouth. Voilà. Foolproof.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.