I’ll be honest with you, friends. I really don’t like Snapchat anymore. And I have a sneaky suspicion that many of you might be over it too. A quick poll around Debrief HQ tells us that none of us really used the app all that much, especially once Instagram Storiesbecame a thing and completely removed the need to tirelessly switch between apps to see what your mates are up to. But, despite my growing disdain for an app that, admittedly, I once adored, it wouldn’t be fair to completely ignore the fact that for a period of time, Snapchat really was The One.
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Over the years, various types of Snapchatter started to emerge: the Chronic Screenshotter (guilty) who caused us to live in constant fear of ugly ass pictures of our faces resurfacing when we least expected it. The Overtly Posey Poser, who at every key interval of their day feels compelled to remind the world what their face looks like under varying degrees of light. And the list goes on. So, as I pronounce the end of the app that most of us only open to get rid of those annoying red notification dots, let’s take a trip back down memory lane and revisit some of the Snapchat clichés we came to know far too well.
1. Narrating your really mundane day to day life
Becuase when you're walking through the street/cooking dinner/waiting for the bus/doing absolutely fuck all, the answer is obviously to tell all of your Snapchat followers how little you're doing. 'This is me, just walking through the streets not doing much'. Yes. We know. We can see.
2. The 'OMG I’m so drunk'
This one takes many forms. You'll either get a series of sloppy, sweaty selfies of one of your mates in an unfamiliar ladies loos surrounded by people that neither of you know, or the Snap takes the form of an uncaptioned video of darkness intermittently speckled with the bright flashing lights of da club. You assume that it's because the DJ is playing one of 'your' songs but can't tell because all you can hear is the Snapper screaming.
3. The DJ Khalid wannabe
If you've ever seen a DJ Khalid Snapchat video you'll know exactly what I mean, but I'll explain just in case. Think video version of those slightly convoluted inspirational quote posts on Instagram telling you 'Good morning, world. Today is going to be a great day. Because you can make it a great day'.
4. The excessive animal filter-er
This needs no explanation. We get it. You like the dog/cat/rabbit ears. Cool.
5. The reverse photobomb
Here is where the Snapchatter starts their Snapchat video with a selfie of themselves looking all smug and faux mysterious. After a moment or two the camera pans to someone else in the background presumably doing something either funny or embarrassing.
6. The letting you know that I’m still awake in the middle of the night
You know the ones. Those rogue notifications you wake up to the next morning that either doesn't say very much at all or simply use the digital clock filter to visually relay that the other person is still awake at an ungodly hour. Becuase every silly decision needs validation, don't you know.
7. The might as well just text
A blank screen with text overlayed does not constitute a reasonable use of Snapchat. Send a text.
8. The amateur artist
Aka the person at work who clearly has nothing at all to do, so instead sends you an elaborately doodled upon photo of one of their colleagues with some sort of whimsical hat and/or glasses on. This should be read as a clue as to how bored your pal is. It's a cry for help, really.
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Follow Jazmin on Instagram @JazKopotsha
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.