Tomomi Sayuda, a Japanese British-based design student made the best desk ever in memory of her dad who died nearly 20 years ago from work-related stress.
At the mere push of a button, Tomomi’s desk turns into an LED-light flashing, disco-playing, bubble blowing confetti machine that’s to be used in ‘times of extreme stress’ to calm the worker down.
Obviously Desktop Fireworks isn’t going to fly in real life; we catch our boss eyeing us up with a murderous look every time we listen to Whitney Houston’s How Will I Know too loud in our headphones. HEY LADY IT’S OUR FRIDAY SONG. So we’ve come up with a few purchases that’ll de-stress your desk and take it from your hated place to your happy place.
Who knows, maybe you could even sneak some of them through on expenses*?
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Don’t do this if you don’t think you can get away with it. Turns out bosses aren’t very lenient when they find out you’ve spunked half your monthly stationery budget on Post-It notes shaped like hamburgers. Oops.
This lunch box that means you never have to brave the kitchen again
If your work kitchen is any thing like ours then it’s full of people you don’t want to talk to, covered in remants of people’s food and there’s always a queue for the one dodgy microwave that never ever heats your food properly. This guy means you can heat up your dinner in the morning while you’re getting dressed, pop it in the flask then leave it until lunchtime when it'll still be hot. It’s witchcraft, we tell you. Just don’t forget cutlery or you’ll be forced to navigate the social minefield that is the kitchen to pick up some plastic shit.
These headphones that’ll cut out your least favourite work colleague
They might not be the snazziest looking things, but £10.99 for a pair of noise cancellers is not bad at all and can you actually put a price on blocking out the constant musings of your next-but-one deskmate? Who knew he could even get a girlfriend, let alone piss one off? Back to the early work of Shola Ama we go.
This fold-up box to store that under desk crap in
If you’re anything like us you’ve got more shoes under your desk than you do at home. Add to that several sets of sweaty gym stuff and a lunchtime Tupperware that’s started growing things. Obviously the sensible thing to do would be to take it all home and sort it out, but what you really need is a place to stash it. Out of sight, out of mind; also known as the healthiest way to deal with a problem. This guy folds up so you can transport him in easily but is small enough to fit under your desk.
This cushion that’ll stop your chair being a torture device
You can’t afford a memory foam mattress but you can afford a memory chair pillow. It’s the little things. Use this cushion to stop your back doing that anoying crampy thing it does after a day spent trying to get comfortable in your desk chair that’s probably been in use since Thatcher was in power. You might look like a nerd but who’s going to be laughing when you’ve finally got a pain-free back? You, that’s who.
This mug holder that’ll stop you ruining everything, again
Facilities aren’t too keen on giving us a new keyboard after the last time we spilled our soup, plus the whole desk has a bit of a sticky feel from that time our sugary coffee went flying. This holder makes it nearly impossible to tip anything containing liquid over onto your desk. Which is always good news.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.