After months, nay, YEARS of speculation, we’ve finally got definitive proof that eh Age Of The Cupcake is over as American cupcake conglomerate Crumbs last week announced the closure of all of it's 65 US-based stores.
Despite trend forecasters warning us for the past few years that cupcakes will magically cease to be 'cool' and will instead make way for other sweeter treats like donuts (yawn) and cronuts (whatevs), the humble cupcake has lived on in popular culture as the little sweet treat that keeps on giving.
Now that Crumbs is on the way out however and there's actual proof people are eschewing the once noble mini-cake, maybe it’s finally time to start looking for other gift-sized confectionary to whet our whistle. Here’s a few niche but novel individualy-sized dessert snacks we’re hoping might be the cupcake successor.
Hamburger Cookies
Yeah. Chocolate chip isn’t going to cut it in 2014 my friend. We like our food crazes bonkers as they come and ‘hamburger cookie’ is pretty much the pinnacle of everything we’ve ever wanted and more. This recipe from AllRecipes.com is our fave.
***Ingredients ** *
4 drops green food coloring
1/2 teaspoon water
1/4 cup flaked coconut
48 vanilla wafers
24 chocolate covered thin mints
1 tablespoon sesame seeds
Directions
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
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In a bowl, combine food coloring with a few drops of water. Add coconut and cover the container, shake until coconut is tinted. Set aside.
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Place 1/2 of the vanilla wafers, flat side up, in an ungreased cookie sheet. Top each wafer with a peppermint patty. Place in the oven about 1 minute or just until chocolate begins to soften.
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Remove cookies from oven and sprinkle each mint with 1/2 teaspoon coconut (for lettuce). Place another vanilla wafer on top and press gentle. With a clean paint brush, brush the top of each hamburger with just enough water to moisten so that the sesame seeds will stick when sprinkled on top of each cookie. NOTE: You can use canned chocolate frosting in place of peppermint patty, then eliminate the baking.
Ninjabread Men
God, we’re suckers for a good pun and ‘ninjabread man’ is pretty much as close as things come to perfection. Top work baking pun makers, top work. These little cookie cutter dudes are excellent for forming your own crack team of gingerbread warriors to destroy the army of tired old regular gingerbread men that still think they're relevent in the 21st century. Use the below recipe from the BBC (it’s simple but excellent), cut out your new ninja friends then decorate with whatever you want like salted caramel or something because fuck icing sugar; your grandma was using that shit.
Ingredients
350g/12oz plain flour, plus extra for rolling out
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
125g/4½oz butter
175g/6oz light soft brown sugar
1 free-range egg
4 tbsp golden syrup
Method
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Sift together the flour, bicarbonate of soda, ginger and cinnamon and pour into the bowl of a food processor. Add the butter and blend until the mix looks like breadcrumbs. Stir in the sugar.
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Lightly beat the egg and golden syrup together, add to the food processor and pulse until the mixture clumps together. Tip the dough out, knead briefly until smooth, wrap in clingfim and leave to chill in the fridge for 15 minutes.
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Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4. Line two baking trays with greaseproof paper.
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Roll the dough out to a 0.5cm/¼in thickness on a lightly floured surface. Using cutters, cut out the gingerbread men shapes and place on the baking tray, leaving a gap between them.
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Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until lightly golden-brown. Leave on the tray for 10 minutes and then move to a wire rack to finish cooling. When cooled decorate with the writing icing and cake decorations.
Nutella Lollies
You know how when you get a jar of Nutella and all you want to do is keep digging out spoonfuls and eating them straight from the jar? But apparently it’s not exactly 'respectable'? Fuck the haters with these lollies which give you licence to eat a a jolly good amount of a jar of Nutella by disguising it as a socially acceptable treat.
***Ingredients
***Nutella
1 cup milk
Can of squirty cream***
Method
Mix together 2 cups of squirty cream, 6 tbsp. of Nutella, 1 cup of nonfat milk.
Pour into popcicle molds.
Freeze for a few hours.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.