Another day, another piece of arbitrary research to prove that women aren’t as together as their male counterparts. This time from the Money Advice Service, who have found that 25 per cent of women would rather ‘live for today than plan for tomorrow’.
Meanwhile a Halifax report published last week found that women are 36 per cent more likely than men to raid their savings to ‘buy gifts and indulge in impulse shopping’. The Halifax reported that, in the last three months, men saved an average of £1,045 while women put aside just £473 over the same period.
While this research is obviously laughable (what kind of abstract philosophers are coming up with these questions, exactly? Since when was ‘living for today’ statistically measurable?) and biased towards making women sound like a bunch of thicko Carrie Bradshaws, it’s no surprise that we’re all really shit with money really.
After all, financial nihilism is the inevitable bi-product for a generation who are constantly told that you can’t have nice things and if you do you’re a stupid capitalist cog who is the reason this country is in the state it is. Plus, I think that our generation was always going to be crap with money because what’s the point in saving if you’re never going to able to buy a house anyway?
So in the spirit of sticking two fingers up to the economy, we’ve decided to celebrate – rather than freak out about – the fact we’re squandering our money on unnecessary shit:
First up, taking taxis totally makes sense
Actually I shouldn’t even include taxis in this list because I think people who are vehemently opposed to taking a taxi home after a night out are deviant sociopaths with no grasp of reality. Taxis are so much safer than the night bus, you can ask the driver to put on songs you like and it saves you getting cold/having to side-step the trickle of piss coming from the sleeping man sitting next to you.
**Coconut water is way better than water **
If you’re intelligent you know that things like coconut water are just beauty gimmicks that people who want to sell you things espouse about at length. But in the same way that we all know that anti-ageing creams don’t remove every line on your face because yes, we all read The Beauty Myth, we buy that shit anyway because the thought of using electrolytes to combat a night of drinking is quite a nice fantasy and really, who cares if £20 mascara actually does more than a £2 one if it makes you feel sexy?
Nice nails are worth it
I would never in this lifetime begrudge spending money on nails because I’m a strong believer that it doesn't matter if your outfit and hair is good if your nails look shit. (Though it’s possible that’s just me). Anyway, getting my nails done is the one thing that I could probably happily leave out of my budget but in all fairness when work is overwhelming taking control of that one decision every fortnight between square, pointy or round tip is all that keeps me going.
Buying countless versions of the same thing
I personally, own four pairs of Topshop Leigh jeans because they look really great for the first six weeks of wearing them, before they get a bit wet/worn or whatever and then the knees get all ‘my baggy body’ and start hanging off you. The thing is, they look so good in those precious early weeks that I just refuse to do the economically sound alternative and buy more expensive jeans that last because I’m an idiot/lazy. The same goes for buying anything that I think looks remotely good actually. It’s such a rarity that I just buy loads of the same thing. Which is why I have 10 of the same American Apparel crop top and buy gold hoops from Primark every month. Lol?
**Homeware to hoard **
Most of the girls I know live in shared houses so while most of us buy things like a tea towel and toilet roll when we need it, not many of them are that invested in buying stuff for the shared house. Not to say that we don’t buy homewares; we just go to Habitat and buy beautiful plates on sale and then keep them for our imaginary dream houses. I’ve been known to spend loads of money I don’t have on things like antique chairs and mirrors that I just have in the basement rotting away. Still, I’d way rather do that then buy a set of Heal’s mugs and let my scummy housemates drink from them. Am I right?!
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.