Turn that frown upside down friend. You’re not going to Coachella. But remember we talked about this back around the time everyone was booking tickets? It’s a long old way to go just to be in the same patch of desert as Vanessa Hudgens. Plus, you only massively wanted to see Outkast and they’re playing at Wireless, which, as well as being a darn sight less expensive than Coachella, is also in this country.
We know, we know, logic isn’t exactly going to do much to assuage the boiling rage you’re starting to feel now your Instagram feed is clogging up with pictures of Selena Gomez doing her best Woodstock ’69 impression, while Kelly Osbourne tweets about her nails that now feature teeny tiny pictures of tents and beers especially for the occasion. So, because we’re nice, we figured out exactly what your trip to Coachella would have costed you – that's $455 (£271) for tickets and shuttles, £662 for accomodation at this late stage, £946 on flights and a very modest £100 spending money, which makes a grand total of around £2,000 – and worked out eight things that you could do instead.
**One night in this [French castle
](https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/858490?checkin=25-08-2014&checkout=01-09-2014&guests=16&s=-npr)**For**For){href='https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/858490?checkin=25-08-2014&checkout=01-09-2014&guests=16&s=-npr)**For' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer'} you and 17 of your closest friends. Gosh, you are generous aren’t you?
A round-the-world plane ticket
It’s time for ‘gap yah’ mark two, with stop-offs in Tahiti, Auckland, Tokyo and LA
**11 UK festivals
**Weekend tickets for Bestival, Latitude, Secret Garden Party, Glastonbury, Isle of Wight, T In The Park, Green Man, End of the Road, Parklife, The Great Escape and Wireless collectively cost the princely sum of £1,940.
**An eight person all-inclusive holiday to Turkey
For a week. Flights included. **
Four whole months in this Scottish cottage
For, like, your sabbatical or something.** **
**A 15-day trek discovering the [lost tribes of Ethiopia
](http://www.imaginative-traveller.com/trip/pflt/)**Probably**Probably){href='http://www.imaginative-traveller.com/trip/pflt/)**Probably' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer'} more interesting than Muse.**
50 Days in this Thai nudist resort
Because everything’s better when we’re naked?
**
**Eight days at this all-inclusive swingers resort in Lanzarote
Cos really, who can put a price on love?
**
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
Picture: Jessica Foley
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.