A new report has called for age restrictions on music videos, and, when the likes of Robin Thicke and Pitbull are topping the charts with misogynist anthems like Blurred Lines and *Timber, *we've got to admit that we're kind of on board.
But it's got us thinking – were the videos from our own pre-teens really so squeaky-clean? We've revisted some of the catchiest soundtracks to our school days, and it turns out they definitely weren't as innocent as we remember.
Come down memory lane with us, as we re-cap how Not Safe For School they really were.
1. 2 Become 1, The Spice Girls, 1996
What we missed: We had the hand actions to *2 become 1 *(a swift flick of the wrist that transformed the two fingers you were holiding up to one) down, but little did we realise this was an anthem about sex, or safe sex to be specific. As Emma Bunton wisely advises: 'be a little wiser, put it on, put it on.' Which is perhaps the most sexually breathy way that anyone's ever talked about a condom ever.
And the video? Minus a rather provocative ‘O’ face from Geri and a few scantily-clad couples embracing in the street, it’s pretty clean.
NSFW rating: 4/10 (It had a positive message to preach, after all)
2. Another Level, Freak Me, 1998
What we missed: We twigged that Freak Me was vaguely dirty as kids, but in fact, when we look back now – it’s filthy. The boys of Another Level want to be 'our nasty man and make us scream.' The fact that Dane Bowers is solely responsible for belting the lyric 'I wanna get freaky with you' throughout is enough to make us feel pretty queasy.
And the video? It’s all set in a rather steamy tunnel which features scantily clad girls dancing surrounded by blokes and some other guys banging on drums in the style of STOMP: The Musical. Weirdly, though, you can’t hear said drums on the track. Perplexing stuff.
NSFS rating: 9/10
4. Bewitched, C’est La Vie, 1998
What we missed: Bewitched? Yep, they were those squeeky-clean Irish girls who wore a lot of denim. But they were also the cheeky bunch who sung 'I got a house with windows and doors / I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.' They also promised they’d 'blow you away.' Whether that was a thinly veiled reference to fellatio or an ode to the Three Little Pigs remains unconfirmed.
And the video? It sickeningly sweet (flowers, glitter, a puppy) except for the fact that a guy in some very high-waisted trousers gets tied to a tree so that the girls can cover him in red lipstick marks. Not on, girls.
NSFS rating: 5/10
4. Atomic Kitten, Right Now, 1999
What we missed: The cheesy pop trio’s oft repeated request: 'Come on baby do it to me good, do it me slowly.'
And the video? Kerry, Natasha and Liz do a fair bit of goofy dancing around London’s Carnaby Street before swinging around in some tent-like tubes before proceeding to crawl on their knees. It makes us pretty dizzy, but it’s nothing too raunchy.
NSFS rating: 6/10
5. Genie In A Bottle, Christina Aguilera, 1999
What we missed: So ostensibly Genie In A Bottle is a catchy ballad about Christina being a genie, in a bottle, but with all the talk of rubbing the right way and hormones racing, it was fairly provocative as teen pop anthems went.
And the video? We bet more than a few teenage boys got off to the sight of X-tina’s hip-shaking and car bonnet dancing.
NSFS rating: 6/10
6. Boom Boom Boom!, Vengaboys, 1999
What we missed: Boom, Boom, Boom! was a less than subtle hit about banging, banging and more banging.
And the video: This chirpy pop act accompanied their smutty hit with an equally explicit video that sees everything from semi-naked girl-on-girl snogging to lap dancing. The whole thing comes to a head with a Playboy-esque bloke pouring champagne down the leg of his bed buddy. The only redeeming feature however, is the lead vocalist is pretty hot on monogamy, or at least anti one-nighters, as she insists 'we’ll spend the night together, from now until forever.'
NSFS rating: 10/10
7. Blue, Too Close, 2001
What we missed: Little did we realise when we belted out Blue’s Too Close that it all about grinding with girls in clubs and enjoying the resulting, uncontrollable boners. Pretty lechey. However, Blue can’t take all the credit, as it was actually a cover of the 1997 original by Next.
And the video? A pretty standard boys rock up to club, prowl for girls, dance with girls-type affair. Oh, and there’s probably some hard-ons, too.
NSFS rating: 8/10
8. That’s What I Go To School For, 2002
What we missed: The lyrics to this were a no brainer: Stacy’s Mum, sorry Mom, was the original MILF.
The video? We’ll overlook the fact that Stacy’s behaviour was pretty suggestive for her age, and cut straight to the misplaced affections of her barely pubescent playdate who can’t help himself from checking out her mum (played by model, Rachel Hunter). After we’ve seen her in various degrees of nudity, the video culminates with the the boy watching the mum pole dance around the kitchen and writhing on the worktop, before he heads to Stacy’s room for a wank. Firstly – so wrong. Secondly – poor Stacy.
NSFS rating: 9/10
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.