Who says drinking heavily on a Wednesday is frowned upon other than society and your Mum? After Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday is like, the most depressing day of the week, right? So why wouldn’t you want to indulge in a glass (or seven) of red wine?
Another reason to drink is The Apprentice; that show you watch every week and love to hate hard. Watching it has two consequences – the first being largely positive when you realise that you’re not half as terrible as any of the people on the show and the second one being negative when you realise that you live in a world where these people exist, and that they earn more money than you.
READ MORE: Life Lessons To Take To Work That We've Picked Up From Watching The Apprentice
So, to get you through the sadomasochistic experience that is putting yourself through an episode of The Apprentice, here’s a drinking game to play while watching.
Have a (large) drink every time that…
Lord Sugar makes a horrible pun that the candidates all laugh at politely. except for one who lets out an overly hearty guffaw to show everyone what a dedicated businessman (read: disgusting brownnoser) he really his.
You think, ‘I could do a better job than they could,’ and know that’s nothing to be proud of.
You get a clear indication of what one of the more male candidates’ sex faces are like when it is announced that his team has won.
The ‘prize’ the winning team gets to go off and experience is something Groupon would have turned their noses up at.
READ MORE: The X Factor Drinking Game You Almost Certainly Don't Need But Will Certainly Enjoy
A team holds a market research session, nods and looks interested, then shits all over the highly valid opinions they’ve just been gifted with by ignoring every single thing they’ve just been told.
The team tell themselves they’re creating a product that ‘oozes class’, even though it ends up looking like something you’d pick up half price at an eastern European car boot sale.
A candidate’s ‘sales technique’ borders on ‘street harassment’.
The only valid reason you can possibly come up with as to why a pub owner would buy a box of fetid potatoes from a bunch of sweaty idiots in suits is to reap the publicity that a TV appearance can provide. And good for them.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.