If you’ve not heard of South Side Story yet then allow us to fill you in. This half Glee, half Made In Chelsea structured reality is set in Brixton and, rather than featuring say, rich kids eating rich people food at rich people places, its characters are super-talented singers, rappers, dancers and choreographers. So sit down, buckle up and listen in – we’re here to fill you in on the who’s who of South Side Story.
Gilly
A handsome chap who spends his days as a choreographer. Everything was going swimmingly for Gilly and his dance troupe Trilogy until lead dancer Levi had a run-in with the long arm of the law. Now he’s looking for a new dancer, struggling to make ends meet (poor chap had his electricity cut off) and deciding whether or not he fancies his mate, Fayy.
Fayy
Fayy looks like a bit like the fourth member of Mis-Teeq (aka fan-freaking-tastic) and can rock a pale pink lipstick like nobody’s business. She’s Gilly’s assistant choreographer and is what we like to call ‘boy mad’, using her audition process to check out potential new dancers’, erm, assets. By which we mean muscles.
Levi
Levi's been away for a while. He's told everyone that he ‘went on a mini holiday’. Gilly’s his best friend, but Gilly’s pissed off with him, which is sad – but it does mean that he’s inspired to sing a nice version of John Newman for us so, swings and roundabouts.
Alaric
This guy seems like the nice one. He’s a personal trainer AND works on the door of the club everyone goes to. He also really fancies a model called Annabell, but he’s pretty shy so things aren’t really going his way in that respect.
Jayden – ‘aka Jayden Fresh’
Perhaps one of the most awful people ever to walk the planet, Jayden ‘Fresh’ (really?) is really into girls and acts like a baby when they tell him to do one. It’s this sort of attitude, plus the fact he tells a girl her arse has ‘too much gravy on the pork chop’ that leads to him making a dick of himself in a rap battle.
Lady Lykezz
The aforementioned recipient of the charming Jayden’s pork chop comment, who has a very nice derriere in our opinion. Not that it matters, she destroys Jayden in the rap battle saying his ‘breath smells like he had shit for tea’. Slammed.
Catch South Side Story on BBC Three on iPlayer.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.