If You’re Gonna Bother With Valentines Cards, You May As Well Support A Good Cause In The Process

Firstly, you'll need to decide if it's morally OK for you to bless a recipient with your nudeyness. Thank God, then, that there's a really simple test to answer this you send the naked picture to somebody who would appreciate it?If YES, continue. If NO, forget this whole thing and go make yourself a nice cup of tea/put some clothes on.Do you want to send this nude picture?If YES, congratulations! It is acceptable for you to send a nude picture. If NO, forget this whole thing and go make yourself a nice cup of tea/put some clothes on.

Now it's time to ensure you've got to grips with your phone's privacy settings because, sadly, the world is a shit place and some arsehole might think it's OK to hack into your iCloud/Google account (for Androiders) and show the world your tits.Your iPhone will be storing photos on your phone, but also in the iCloud as a sort of automatic backup that can be accessed by arseholes. To prevent this, go into 'Settings', then 'iCloud' and manually disable 'My Photo Stream'. With Android, you need to go into your Gallery, hit 'General Settings' and then slide 'Auto-Backup' to OFF. Easy (naked) peasy.

'The first thing is lighting. If you have poor lighting, which in most cases you will, it all looks a bit rubbish,' explains Leigh, the photographer for Mighty Aphrodite, the UK's longest running nude and erotic photography service. 'What I would suggest is as much natural lighting as possible. Take them in the day, and maybe next to a window so you've got daylight streaming through. Net curtains will also diffuse the light, giving a really nice effect.'Unfortunately, many of us get the urge to send naked pics after we've had two glasses of wine in the evening and are sitting around bored because the WiFi has stopped working. Not much daylight to be had there. But don't worry, evening shots do work as well – you've just got to be savvy.'Try not to use overhead lights, because they'll create shadows on your face and body; use desk lamps and keep your crops a little tighter,' he adds.

You don't want to be snapping your breasts while on the loo or surrounded by piles of clothes. 'The worst is when there are GHDs in the background, or the plug for your laptop. It just looks rubbish, so make sure there's no clutter in the background,' Leigh advises. 'Ideally, you want to be standing in front of the window and have the camera along the window towards you because then the light will fall on you.'Leigh's pretty obsessed with windows, but don't worry if you've not got a good one to hand because a bed will do just as well: 'Positioning yourself on your bed and switching a mid-height bedside lamp on will also work well.' And talking of positioning...

Georgie, who's in a long distance relationship and sends naked pics to her boyfriend all the time, is a big fan of secret heels if she's doing a standing pose: 'Wearing heels with your feet out of shot is good because it makes your legs and bum look great and your posture is good without them seeing that you're wearing them.'Yeah, Georgie is a genius. In terms of posing, she's a fan of what we'll be referring to as the Peek-A-Boob: 'A good position is where you face 45° away from the camera with a view of your bum. Stick out your bum and push your shoulder forward so there's a peek of boob behind your arms.' Classy.'Another good position is where you're lying on your front, as it shows off the curve of your back and bottom,' says Leigh. 'A boob shot is fine, but not from arm's length as it just looks rubbish – try lying down on your side and, if you've got a set of GG boobs, stand up and raise your arms above your head to put your breasts in a different position.'

The optimum is, of course, using a self-timer because then you don't get your massive forearm in shot and your proportions aren't all skewed. 'Try and get a gadget to hold your phone, Gorilla Pods are good because you can stand it on a surface or wrap it around something,' Leigh says.Georgie hasn't splashed out on a Gorilla Pod, opting to just stand her phone up on various shelving units and sideboards, but has a sneaky tip for getting around the self-timer issue: 'I take a video and then just get loads of screengrabs from it. The quality might not be as brilliant but you can get a whole range of positions and it saves time – sometimes, you don't want to be constantly fiddling around with settings.'

Leigh suggested a pearl necklace, causing me to snort down the phone like a child, but then also advised spraying water onto yourself to create a sexy sheen, which sounded like a very attractive prospect. 'Water can look good, especially for boob shots. It's all about thinking outside of the box.' Pun not intended (BOX HAHA SNORT).Georgie's done shower nudes before, the ease of which depends on your bathroom layout, but if you can set up a phone in there (Gorilla Pod or otherwise) then opting for the 'shoot a video then take stills from it' might work best. Or, at least, turn the shower off once you're wet in order to take the photo.If you're putting your face in the frame, then a bit of slap can up the sex factor: 'If you don't want your whole face in, then crop it to just above your mouth with a slick of red lipstick,' suggests Leigh. 'If you want your face in the shot, then you don't necessarily have to look at the camera. It's sort of voyeuristic and sexy to look away...'

'A flash will give a very flat, even lighting which destroys the shape of the body. Plus, it's unflattering and, if you're doing an arm's-length photo, you're way too close for it,' says Leigh. Unless you want the 'no nose' look. Like a sexy Voldemort.

'Warming filters make everyone look that little bit hotter,' says Georgie. 'Also, that slider on Instagram that picks out detail and sharpens your pics work well because any defined feature you have will look loads better.' Make sure you don't actually Instagram the pic though, just take a screenshot, yeah?Leigh agrees with the warming thing: 'Some of the filters that desaturate to give a warmer sepia tone are nice, but I'm not a fan of the filters that give too much of a vintage effect. Everyone seems to be using one at the moment that gives a cross-processing look as though it was taken in the 70s. You can't go wrong with black and white, mind.' Hear that? Leave the Kelvin and opt for monochrome.

And check those security settings on your phone again.