DON’T wee in the street and/or fight with police officers
Jessa learned this one the hard way didn’t she? It was broad fucking daylight; and being an alcoholic coming from an AA meeting she absolutely wasn’t drunk – not that that’s an excuse for weeing in the street although let’s face it we’ve all been caught short after a bucket of red wine on a Saturday night. Anyways. If you want to avoid jail, don’t do it. The end.
DO learn to let go if that dream opportunity isn’t working out
In perhaps the first sensible thing she’s ever done, old Hannah Horvath made the very brave decision to head back home from her dream MA in Ohio with her tail between her legs are realising that A) her classmates were a bunch of pretentious dickheads and B) she didn’t fit in at all. It takes guts to do this; just because your dream job isn’t working out, doesn’t mean you have to smile through the pain.
DON’T drag your new date to stalk your old date
Seen not once but twice this series. First when Hannah takes the delightful Fran to stalk Adam at Mimi Rose’s art show and secondly when Ace takes Jessa to Mimi Rose’s house. I mean, aside from the common denominator in both of these situations being none other than Mimi Rose so that should teach you not to have a relationship with her, neither of them work out all that swimmingly for any party involved.
DO understand the power of being silent about your creative outlets
Everyone’s sick of having to hear Marnie sing, hell even her friends are sick of having to hear Marnie sing. Which is weird, because she has a nice voice. Speaks volumes about what happens when you show off too much.
DON’T be too hipster
See Ace with his toothbrush chewing, Mimi Rose with her frank and open approach to airing her feelings. Too hipster is too much hipster. Tone it down chaps.
DO keep dirty talk to appropriate places
Like er, the bedroom, anything past a second date and or the digital space in between your phone and someone elses’. Not like, as Shoshanna decides to do, on a first date in a restaurant in front of the cast of The Good Wife. Time and place, time and place.
DON’T go to something called a jazz brunch
It’s not a thing, never has been and never will be.
DO apply for every and any job
Job hunting is HARD. Especially in 2015. Make like Shoshanna and have a million interviews but maybe don’t be like Shoshanna in the way she tells an employer that this was a practice interview. Karma’s a bitch.
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Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
Girls Episode Seven: Mimi Rose Is Weirdly Great, And Hannah Does A Pre-Date Masturbate
Girls Epsiode Five: Hannah's Been Replaced, Jessa's Two-Faced, And Ray Is A Total Waste
Girls Episode Three: Jessa Does Public Weeing, And Hannah Has A Crisis Of Being
Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.