Pretty much all of my heroines are women in comedy - or at least, women who make me laugh. Of course, there are millions of brilliant women I admire and am inspired by who have made serious contributions to humanity, like reforming human rights, bringing coding to all and creating the pasteurisation process. But the women who make me catch my breath somewhere between my heart and my fanny, the ones I want to be, we’re looking at your Tina Feys, your Issa Raes, Caitlin Morans, Amy Poehlers, Chelsea Perettis, Nina Stibbes, Grace Dents, Amy Schumers, Lucille Balls, Lauren Bravos…(I could go for hours and days and weeks here.)
But growing up, it wasn’t just the funny women who made me want to raise my game. You see a lot more men in sitcoms, so my hand was forced - but after giving it some thought, I realised that a lot of the dudes seemed to be having more fun. No amount of shoes would make me feel that Carrie Bradshaw was having a better time than Kramer off Seinfeld. There was only one Cosmo that I was into and it didn’t come in a cocktail glass. I’m so lucky to be aware of so many amazing female role models - but these are the male characters that have helped me work out how to become the woman I want to be.
Will Smith, The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air
I would still give anything to be Will. If I’d gone to school in a stonewashed denim cap and a patchwork baseball jacket over my uniform, I suspect I’d have needed to move schools. When Will did it, people copied him, because he was more sure of himself than Richard Dawkins is sure that God doesn’t exist. When I saw Will with women, the reason for this confidence was clear. The world takes you at your own estimation, and Will was banking on the fact that his crushes would like him as much as he liked them. When I was a single girl, it was Will who gave me the confidence to chat to guys in bars. In fact, if it wasn’t for him, I might not have had the guts to ask my fiance out in the first place. Cheers, Will! (Sadly I still can’t dance like he does.)
Joey Tribbiani, Friends
Joey confirmed what I’d learned from Will - enthusiasm is the secret of sexual success. He also taught me that sometimes intelligence and knowledge are different things. Joey might not know that much about history, for example (whatever your mates tell you, 'Josef Stalin' is NOT a suitable stage name) but his instincts were always bang on, and he knew how to get a laugh. He also knew how to make a sandwich. Whenever I am at a deli counter, I can feel him guiding me.
Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld
When Amy Poehler wrote ‘Don’t ask for permission to sit on George Clooney’s lap, beg for forgiveness once you do,’ I like to think she was invoking the spirit of Kramer, who never, ever asked whether it was OK before he made his way into Jerry’s flat, and into his fridge.
Kramer is constantly in peril - he has no job, he’s sometimes wanted by the police, he has the worst friends and the sort of haircut that means there is no guesswork required if you want to predict what his pubes look like. But he’s endlessly, boundlessly cheerful and in charge. When he falls over, he owns the fall. When everyone tells him he won’t get anywhere with his ‘pizza business where you make your own pie’ he refuses to give it up, or relinquish one gram of enthusiasm. You just know that whenever Kramer wakes up a) He’s certain the world is about to offer him a wonderful opportunity and b) It’s probably past 3PM.
Max Blum, Happy Endings
Sitcoms are full of brilliant, accomplished hyper capable women - hello Dr Mindy Lahiri! What’s shaking, Emma from Playing House who-set-up-her-own-business in Hong Kong? Even Hannah Horvarth is currently attending an incredibly prestigious creative writing programme. A rising tide raises all boats, and I love seeing brilliant women on screen - but we can’t all be brilliant! Where are our slackers? At the moment, all we have is Broad City’s Abi and Illana, and before them, I had to make do with Max Blum.
Max is a magnificently underemployed bear, whose single greatest achievement might be flossing without making his gums bleed. He’s such a slob that he makes deadly lifetime enemies by accident. The character has a Wikipedia page that reads ‘Max is slovenly, uncultured and lazy.’ In a world where we’re always being told to strive, a world in which M&S won’t stop wrecking perfectly good, delicious products by reducing the sugar content and adding more kale, I say we need more Max.*
*Stephen Toast, Toast of London
Toast is my poster boy for body confidence. Are you a little self conscious about your stomach? Just insist that when you make love to your many conquests, you keep your sports vest on. Also, you sound brilliant if you mispronounce all words in a loud and confident voice. And when women are always told that friendship is wonderful and we should be sweet and kind and buy each other mugs covered in bears clutching balloons, there’s something refreshing about Toast’s abiding hatred for every single one of his colleagues and companions.*
*Guy Secretan, Green Wing
Arrogant Swiss anaesthetist Guy Secretan can be selfish, cold, manipulative, greedy, rude, and a bit of a bully. But he once forced Dr Caroline Todd to address her emotional wobbles with the words ‘the Secretans are not at home to self doubt.’ And that’s always on my mind when I’m feeling a bit fat and sad, or if I have to make a particularly scary phone call. Also, I don’t want to work out in stupid sexy lyrca, and Guy has inspired me to strap on a pair of goggles and wear a giant basket hat for sporting activities, as laid out in the rules of Guyball.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
Girls Episode Three: Jessa Does Public Weeing, And Hannah Has A Crisis Of Being
150 Prostitutes And 50,000 Punters, Inside The World Of Stuttgart's Mega Brothel
Follow Daisy @NotRollerGirl
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.