As you MIGHT have noticed with the nation in a state of mourning, after two defeats, England are already out of the World Cup. The team they face in their final game today, Costa Rica, are already through. So, basically, this is a game that means very little and which neither team really wants to play. England have never been in this situation at a World Cup before, so it’s difficult to know how we’re meant to feel about this encounter. Aim for angry apathy (if that’s possible) and you probably won’t go far wrong.
You’ll have seen all manner of hysterical rants about the demise of English football in the last few days, but one thing seems to have been forgotten in all the analysis: England got an absolute shitter of a group. England sit 10th in the official world rankings; Uruguay and Italy (the teams who have beaten them) are 7th and 9th respectively. Losing in a tight encounter to a slightly less rubbish team is what would have happened in the knockout stages anyway – the inevitable disappointment just came along a little earlier than usual this time.
Seeing as there’s nothing riding on this game, England boss Roy Hodgson has already announced his line-up. Frank Lampard will play what is almost certainly going to be his last game for England (he’s an ancient 36 now), but you will also get to see some less familiar faces. Ross Barkley (20) is seen as the new Gazza and Luke Shaw (18) is all set to be the new Ashley Cole – so much so, that he was the subject of his first ever kiss and tell in the tabloids at the weekend.
As for the team England are playing tonight, Costa Rica are the tournament’s surprise package so far. They were meant to be the ‘whipping boys’ of the group (not like that) and lose all three games. Instead, their team spirit and organization (if that sounds a bit patronizing, it’s because that’s how they have been described by most of our wonderfully ill-informed pundits) have seen them beat Italy and Uruguay already. This could be the particularly foul-tasting cherry on top of England’s turd of a tournament.
One last bit of respect-winning info for you: Costa Rica goalkeeper Keylor Navas plays for a team in Spain called Levante. Over the last five years, he has been statistically the best keeper in Europe – he has saved a higher percentage of shots he has faced than anyone else. No-one you’re watching the game with will know that: guaranteed. Anyone who says they do is a big fat liar.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.