In Honour Of Her Royal Highness Dolly Parton, Here’s A Few Reasons Why She’s The Best Person Ever

Big love Dolly, big love.


by Jess Commons |
Published on

At the ripe old age of 68, Dolly Parton isn’t planning on slowing down any time soon. Not content with playing the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury this year, she’s also released a new album called Blue Smoke that’s out today. Here’s a few reasons why Dolly is the best person that’s ever walked the planet. Ever.** **

She’s funny as hell

‘I was the first woman to burn my bra — it took the fire department four days to put it out.’

Last month she stuck up for goddaughter Miley Cyrus in TIME magazine

‘She made her point, she made her mark, and more power to her. Wrecking Ball is a great song. The whole album is great. So I’m hoping that now she can relax and show people how talented she really is. ’Cause the girl can write. The girl can sing. The girl is smart. And she doesn’t have to be so drastic. But I will respect her choices. I did it my way, so why can’t she do it her way?’

She once lost a drag queen competition against other Dolly Parton drag queens

‘They had a bunch of Chers and Dollys that year, so I just over-exaggerated — made my beauty mark bigger, the eyes bigger, the hair bigger, everything. All these beautiful drag queens had worked for weeks and months getting their clothes. So I got in the line and I walked across, and they just thought I was some little short gay guy. I got the least applause.’

She created jobs for thousands of people

In 1986 Dolly bought her own theme park. Dollywood and its spin-off resort and water park is now the largest tourist attraction in Tennessee, and is responsible for creating 3,000 jobs in the otherwise struggling area. She’s too scared to go on any of the rides though. And at five feet tall, probably isn’t tall enough, anyways.

She’s really good at making up aphorisms

Need an inspirational quote to scrawl across that nice sunset picture you want to put on Instagram? Look no further than Dolly: ‘Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life’ is a good one. And, ‘If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.’ #Inspiration

She grew up dirt poor, but that didn’t stop her looking amazing

‘I wanted to have my hair blonder. I was a blonde kid, but it was dishwater blonde, and I wanted radiant blonde. I wanted to have lipstick, and I used pokeberries stains for lipstick when I was a kid and burnt matches to make my eyebrows and beauty marks and all that.’ Here’s a replica of her childhood house for good measure.

Natural disasters aren’t going to get in the way of her looking good

‘When I’m in California, where they have earthquakes all the time, I always keep my clothes handy. I have a wig beside the bed and I leave my make-up on. I don’t want to be rushed out into the street looking like hell! I know reporters would go by and then they’d be talking about it.’

**She dressed up as Dolly Parton for Halloween


She supports gay marriage

‘I always say, “Sure — why can’t they get married? They should suffer like the rest of us do!’”

She’s still best friends with her best friend from third grade

‘I travel with my best friend since the third grade, Judy Ogle. We work together, she’s my personal assistant, and we’re such good girlfriends. We have a lot of fun.’

Picture: Getty

  • Blue Smoke is out today.*

Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us