Girls Episode Seven: Mimi Rose Is Weirdly Great, And Hannah Does A Pre-Date Masturbate

Plus, what really happens when you mow an old lady down with a taxi? Turns out not much. ILLUSTRATIONS BY NINA COSFORD


by Jess Commons |
Published on

After last week’s revelation that Hannah is one of life’s great ‘helpers’ and has decided to get a job as a teacher, this week’s episode opens mid-lesson as Hannah’s doing a weirdly brilliant job of making Oedipus relevant to a group of high schoolers through the medium of MILFs. Although, whether the term ‘MILF’ was ever meant to refer to your own mum is something we’re not quite sure about.

After class in the staff room, Hannah meets Jake Lacy the hot guys from Obvious Child. Jake’s also a regular feature in the men we’d like to marry and laugh happily ever after with fantasy that sometimes takes over our minds on Thursday lunchtimes when the going gets tough. Anyways Hannah and Jake (character name: Fran) banter like pros and then he asks her out. Which seems unfair because the only person to ask me out last time I broke up with someone was a drunk homeless man on the night bus at 4AM.

Back home pre-date Elijah is being barely supportive but does manage to convince Hannah not to wear a child’s t shirt that’s covered in lizards because nothing says I’m a together grown up single lady like crude drawings of reptiles on your clothes. Hannah then shoos Elijah away so she can wank before the date to curtail the sexual tension. That’s a thing…. Right?

Fran takes Hannah (sans lizard t shirt) to a fancy piano bar where the two get on like a house on fire. Just as this episode is starting to feel weird thanks to all the normal human being stuff going on, Hannah suggests they move onto an art show that turns out to be A) a weird immersive theatre thing and B) the work of Mimi Rose. Oh Hannah. Oh Hannah. No-one’s quite sure why Hannah’s there, least of all Adam. To his great credit, Hannah’s date Fran is a great sport and sticks around as long as is humanly possible but eventually gives up and hits the road. Goodbye Jake Lacy you beautiful blonde dimpled funny man.

Nina Cosford
Nina Cosford

Unlike Adam, Mimi Rose is glad Hannah came and invites her to the after party. Turns out her ex ‘partner’ (worst word ever) Ace is going too. BTW Ace is the worst and chewing on a toothbrush like people used to chew on toothpicks in rap videos in the 90s. Mimi Rose and Hannah get a taxi while Adam is stuck with Ace.

According to Ace, Mimi Rose’s whole ‘thing’ is a giant act but he also asks Adam to ‘take some selfies and get really weird’ so whether or not this is a man who’s judgement we want to trust I’m not entirely sure. Plus, you know, he’s a thirty something wearing a backwards leather baseball cap. Oh! Also, Ace is still in love with Mimi Rose and is going to get her back. His words.

In the other taxi Mimi Rose commits the ultimate in Hannah sins and mentions that she’s writing a book. Apparently it’s a ‘psychosexual thriller told from the perspective of a dead woman who solves her own murder’. Hannah does not deal well with this news and asks the taxi driver to turn around which is a terrible idea because he mows down an old woman.

While they’re waiting to give their statements in a nearby Laundromat, Mimi Rose makes friends with a stranger by popping a poem into a random woman’s laundry. Because of course she does. Then she offers to give up Adam so Hannah can have him back which is kind of what Hannah wants but not really because everyone knows the aim of stealing an ex back off his new girlfriend is not really the getting him back, it’s more the crushing of the new girlfriend that is most satisfactory. The two have a big argument that ends up with Mimi Rose referencing a Japanese prisoner of war. Because of course she does. What the two do agree on though is that they’re both insecure and, against the odds, make friends.

Over at the bar, it turns out that Jessa is really into Ace and the whole reason she set Mimi Rose and Adam up is so that she could poach Ace. Yet more excellent friend points for Jessa there.

Hannah, still wearing a tabard she stole from the art show that says Ask Me My Name and looking all the world like a volunteer at a self help convention sidles up to Adam to tell him that she likes Mimi Rose and say congratulations on his awesome relationship. Which is very big of her. Then she gets a falafel sandwich and goes home which is also great except we would have substituted the falafel for chicken and the sandwich for kebab but what you going to do?

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Girls Episode Four: Hannah's At A Loss, Shoshanna's Got No Boss And Ray Goes Full Red Ross

Girls Epsiode Five: Hannah's Been Replaced, Jessa's Two-Faced, And Ray Is A Total Waste

Girls Episode Six: Hannah's Got A New Talent And Adam's Got A Stupidly Great Apartment

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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