Halloween’s that time of year, where you can find yourself having to fork out on a costume that, let’s face it, will end up more trashed than you by the end of the night. And every year I find myself agreeing to a last minute party invite, but then I start thinking, ‘Shit, now I’m going to have to go in a bin bag dress and sweat my tits off again.’
So, it is for this reason that this last minute Halloween how-to zombie guide will be your saving grace, come October 31st.
To achieve operation dead-person DIY, you’re going to need the following:
Old t-shirt
Old jeans/ tights
Red food dye,
Plain flour
Corn flour
Cheese grater
Cocoa powder
An old spray bottle
Unwanted old makeup
Cillit Bang to wash your bathroom with afterwards
If you don’t have any of these items, you can still buy them much more conveniently than sourcing actual Halloween stuff last minute. Last year I bore witness to a two-hour queue outside a tiny fancy dress shop in central London. No thank you.
Step 1
Find some old black jeans or tights. Tights are easy because you just have to ladder them. With jeans however, you’re going to get your cheese grater, and grate the living hell (pun intended) out of the knees.
Step 2
After your jeans are starting to look pretty messed up, grab an old t-shirt (make sure it’s long enough to cover your bottom if you opted for tights. You want people to be scared of your face, not your undies.)
Pour some red food colouring and a little bit of water into your old spray bottle (may I suggest using a bath tub at this point.) Now you need to start spraying the shit out of your t-shirt. Remember - you’re a cold-hearted, murderous zombie so you want to make sure you really get this across when considering your blood spatterings.
Step 3
Now that you look like you’ve taken part in some heinous massacre, you need to up the deceased ante - dampen your face and begin to slather on some flour. Once it’s dry (it should take a few seconds) repeat this process again and again. The aim of the game here is create a nice thick layer so that it cracks, and resembles old mouldy zombie skin. Beautiful.
Step 4
You should be looking pretty gross right now, but let’s take it to the next level. Have a deep rummage in your beauty box and grab any old manky dark makeup you never wear. I found a questionable pewter grey eye shadow that looked suspiciously like a Sabrina’s Secret’s relic, and a broken eye liner (you don’t want to bugger up your nice stuff). Now you need to start contouring your face with the dark powder. Imagine you’re Kim Kardashian, but like… dead.
Step 5
You’re looking horrible. Well done. For the flour’s next trick, we’re going to create zombie dreadlocks. Start by wetting your hair, then rub and twist flour through it, twirling small chunks so it sticks together. Once it’s dried, it will go fairly hard, so make sure you’ve invested in a Tangle Teezer for the day after.
Step 6
Looking scarier than your bank balance on the day before payday, you’re nearly ready to show up all your mates who’ve spent loads of money on their outfits. But wait- there’s still the final touch of gooey fake blood.
In a bowl mix some red food dye, then equal parts flour, corn flour and weirdly a little bit of cocoa powder together (this makes it darker and less like you’ve dribbled ketchup down your face), then using which ever utensil you fancy, drip a little in the corners of your mouth- this makes it look like you’ve been eating other humans, which is spot if you really want to nail this A/W seasonal trend.
Now you truly are looking like la piece de resistance of Halloween… and hey - all those pennies saved by not buying an outfit can be reinvested in some well-earned glasses of punch.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
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Follow Jenn on Twitter @Crothh
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.