Some bright spark has invented a desk that shoots up in the air at 6pm so people can’t keep working. If your boss hasn’t gone as far as installing these (and why the hell not?!) then here are some other things to definitely put into practise every night at 6pm. Especially Fridays.
Have a nap
Looking to have a big one? Flagging? If you’re not now, you will be at 3am, so if you’re not meeting up with your mates until 7pm, then find a quiet corner and get your head down for a 15-minute snooze. You’ll feel fucking shit when you wake up, but give it five minutes and suddenly the world will seem brighter, your heart will sing and angels will descend. Or you’ll just be able to keep hard-partying.
**Host a film viewing **
Who needs social engagements when you can stick on Beauty And The Beast in the office and enrich your soul with the joy of nostalgia? Yeah, you could do shots everytime Belle does something stupid, or you could just wallow in the glory of days gone by. Beanbags would really help. Or a big sofa. Especially good if you fancy one of your colleagues, because you could orchestrate a ’90s horror movie marathon and try and snog them every time Neve Campbell’s in danger.
**Compulsory G&T Time **
Every week, it’s someone else’s job to expense a bottle of gin and shitloads of tonic. Then, said person goes around pulling the plugs out of the computers and plonking down gin and tonics, because you can’t be angry at losing an entire day’s work when you’ve got a clinkety-clankety icy glass of gin. And you rotate the person responsible for this, so nobody can shoot the messenger/throw said person out of a four-storey window.
READ MORE: Six Of The Most Pointless And Baffling Office Gadgets You'll Ever Come Across
**Eat **
Sounds simple, but how many times have you gone out straight from work only to find yourself hammered by 8pm because you forgot to stop off at Pret? On Friday, at 6pm, it should be mandatory for the CEO to provide a buffet for those without dinner reservations. And if the CEO doesn’t want to do it, then someone can pop out to M&S and grab some sarnies or something. Even crisps. Anything to soak up the carnage that’s about to be unleashed on your liver.
**Do an extra half hour of work **
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Do interval training
Bollocks to the gym, try running up and down the stairs at intervals and eschew the extortionate fees. Run up and down the stairs for three minutes at peak intensity, then take it slow for three minutes. Repeat this for 20 minutes and try not to fall down the stairs. Doesn’t matter about feeling stupid, the only people left in the office can’t judge you because, hey, they’re still in the office. Loserz.
Watch a motivational video
If you’re going out, stick on any upbeat Beyonce or, if you’re me and stuck in a timewarp, the song that goes on about being like a G6. If you’re about to go for a meal with people you hate or you’re just not feeling conversational, then whack on a TED talk about human behaviour or something. Or Beyonce. There’s pretty much a Beyonce for all post-work activities.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.