Does your desk look a bit like this? Welcome to our world. It doesn’t paint a very flattering picture of us and if we’re completely honest, our neighbour is getting more than a little bit pissed off at the ever-growing pile of paper that’s threatening virtual and total collapse onto her pristine workspace. But for whatever reason, put it down to hoarding or disorganisation, we just can’t keep our desk clean. No matter how much of a seeing-to we give it every night. (Wink-wink, nudge-nudge.) Here’s a few tips that we’ve found helpful over the years and that have stopped our desk going full-on Mr Messy…
Get a box under your desk
Under my desk there’s five pairs of shoes, a hoodie and countless items of unwashed gym kit. Also, somewhat inexplicably, a big collection of chopsticks held together with a rubber band. Easiest way to solve this? Hiding it. Get your hands on a big old box (go and ask the postroom) and stick everything in it. You’ll get to taking it home eventually. Maybe. But until then the illusion of neatness is created and the squares in the office don’t get pissed off.
Stop nicking free stuff
You almost certainly didn’t need that copy of the self-help book someone was peddling. Ditto for the promotional cuddly stuffed toy with the company logo emblazoned on his ill-fitting T-shirt. We know saying no to free shit is hard, but learn. It’ll make the good free stuff feel all the more better.
Chuck out your pens
82% of them don’t work. Guaranteed.
Paint your iPhone cable with nail varnish
It’s going to get nicked. It just will. Everyone’s got the same one, so there’s no proving it was that douchbag Rob over the other side of the room. Even though you know it was him. He’s just got that look about him. Painting the bits at the end with a hot pink nail varnish makes it easier to track down when it goes walkies and let’s face it: your sleuthing skills aren’t up to much. You’re still trying to solve the mystery of the missing bagel back from 2012.
Stop eating at your stupid desk
Seriously. Imagine if you hadn’t spilled soup on your keyboard and your ‘O’ button didn’t stick. It certainly would have made the time you tried to write ‘count’ in an email to your boss a lot less awkward. We know it’s hard to get away at lunchtime and you’ve got limited options of places to eat, but even locked in the loo is better than the growing mountain of crumbs currently attracting mice to your area.
Figure out where shit ends up
If, at the end of the day, your lip balm is always on the other side of the desk to where it started it out? Believe it or not there might be a subconscious method to your madness in that you absent mindedly place things where they’re easier to reach. Changing the position of things on your desk to reflect this might be the smartest thing you’ve ever done.
Go paperless
If you’ve got an iPad or a tablet and only use it to watch Netflix, think about downloading TopNotes – which basically lets you use your tablet as a notepad. Writing stuff works better with a stylus, but you can use your finger, too. You can create different notebooks for different things as well, meaning all that crappy papper with weird biro scribblings on it will be a thing of the past.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.